


Hush, My Dear It’s Been A Difficult Year

by NyxEtoile, OlivesAwl



Series: Syn and Loki Multiverse (Dark Inside AUs) [5]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: F/M, Grief/Mourning, Loss, M/M, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Second Chances, Space Road Trip, alternate timeline loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-08
Updated: 2020-05-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:35:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 39,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23060311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NyxEtoile/pseuds/NyxEtoile, https://archiveofourown.org/users/OlivesAwl/pseuds/OlivesAwl
Summary: Syn studied him a moment. "I came out here to forget, to try to heal. I did not expect to run across his doppleganger.”“IamLoki,” he replied. “Just a different one.”"You are notmyLoki," she said. "You're not even the right Loki for this time line. Do you have any idea how painful it is to be standing in front of someone who looks and sounds andsmellsthe same as the person you lost andisn't them?”
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Original Female Character(s), Loki (Marvel)/Syn (Norse Religion & Lore), Original Male Character/Original Male Character
Series: Syn and Loki Multiverse (Dark Inside AUs) [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/165095
Comments: 109
Kudos: 235





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This all began with a prompt from tumblr user diggerkaren. Thank you for the plot bunny! We hope you enjoy what we did with it.

If you asked her, Syn would have told you that Loki's ridiculous play was doomed from the start. Of course, at the time, she'd thought it would just get booed or laughed at and Loki would pout and nurse his wounded pride for a couple of weeks. She'd understood what he was trying to do - his Odin facade couldn't last forever and a little propaganda to change his reputation couldn't hurt. But the play itself was rather ridiculous.

She had not expected the Asgardian people to actually like it. In the audience on opening night she'd struggled to contain her laughter while the people around her wept at the tragedy of Loki.

"Asgardians love an epic," he told her later, in between being unbearably smug.

He cajoled her into seeing it the next week, at an encore matinee held at the palace. He was in his Odin guise, which always gave her a headache, so she sat behind and to the side of him so she didn't have to look at him directly and get the double vision she always saw when he had a glamour on. As such, she got a front row seat for Thor's arrival and the subsequent revelation.

Which, if one was honest, was a much better show than the ridiculous play they'd been watching.

She was caught up in the dispersing crowd once the brothers sorted out their issues and wasn't able to catch up to Loki until he was on his way to the Bifrost.  
"Where are you going?" she hissed at him once she'd caught up.

He didn't even glance at her, apparently unsurprised she'd tracked him down. "To Midgard, apparently, to show Thor where I put my father."

"That sounds like a terrible idea, come to Alfheim instead."

"I didn't stash Odin on Alfheim, as you well know."

At the entrance to the Bifrost gate, Syn caught his arm, forcing him to stop and look at her. "Loki. Don't do this. Your brother just threatened to kill you, what do you think he's going to do when you give him Odin?"

He smiled, looking tired, and tucked a lock of her hair behind an ear. "It'll be fine. We'll go down, I'll lift my spell, the two of them will yell at me for a while and banish me, then I can come to Alfheim and throw myself on your good graces."

That was remarkably optimistic, for Loki, which made her wonder if he was right. It sounded far too easy, from what she knew of his family. There was a pit in her stomach, that was getting worse and worse. Her mother had always said premonitions and fortune telling were the only magic that wasn't real, but right now, Syn wasn't so sure. "This is a really terrible idea."

Before he could answer, they were interrupted by Thor and two of his warriors. "Volstagg and Fandral will watch the gate," Thor said, brushing past them. "I don't trust that fool of yours to-" He stopped and looked at Syn. "I don't know you."

"Syn the Truthful," she said, not taking her eyes off Loki. "Princess of Alfheim."

His brow furrowed. "There's a princess of Alfheim? I've been hunting with the king and he never struck me as interested in. . ." He trailed off, suddenly looking at her in a panic.

She turned to glare at him, momentarily distracted from her worry by the revelation that Thor, Champion of Asgard, was this unobservant.

"That's my brother," she told him. "Boe. I don't hunt, so I suppose our paths haven't crossed. But I do, in fact, exist"

"A pleasure, your highness." Thor bowed, making Loki roll his eyes. "I apologize, but I have family business with my brother and it doesn't concern-" He broke off again, apparently noticing her hand on Loki's arm. "Or. Maybe it does." He raised his gaze to Loki's. "Explain?"

Now he looked down at her hand. She half expected him to shake it off, braced herself for the hurt that would cause. Instead, he covered her hand with his and gave it a little squeeze before looking to his brother. "It's complicated."

"Ah, I see." Thor turned a sympathetic look to her. "My brother has often been fickle with his affections."

Syn's mouth opened and closed. Off to the side, she heard Loki's very offended, "I _beg_ your pardon?" but ignored it.

"Our relationship is complicated," she bit out. "Because he's had to pose as your brutish, despot of a father while I have to pretend to be in love with a man over twice my age that -"

"All right." Loki ducked between then and steered her away from Thor before she could finish her rant. "Dear heart, I promise you can yell at Thor all you want once we're back from retrieving Odin from Midgard."

She took a deep breath and centered herself. "Loki. Please. For the last time. Come home with me. Don't go to Midgard."

He smiled and stroked her cheek, leaning down to kiss her. "I'll be back soon. You have my word." Stepping away from her, he kissed her hand, then back away, holding her as long as he could. Then the Bifrost opened and he was sucked away.

She had no word from him, or anyone in Asgard, for days. Normally, rumors flew among the realms and one could have some idea of what was happening, especially in Asgard. But for four days she heard nothing, which was almost more ominous than any new might have been.

On the evening of the fourth day Loki appeared in her chambers, as he had dozens of times during their romance. She was already up and running to him when she realized he wasn't really there but sending one of his projections. He'd told her that for other people he was clear and solid enough to seem real, but for her he always seemed to vaguely flicker.

"Loki," she said, coming to a stop before she touched him. "What happened, where are you?"

He sighed deeply. "It's complicated, and a very long story. As quickly as possible, my father is dead, he had a daughter, she destroyed Asgard and killed a shocking number if its people. Those that are left are in a ship on our way to Midgard with me, my brother, and a small assortment of alien gladiators."

She stared at him a moment, then crossed her arms. "When I tell you something is a bad idea…”

"I know, I know. You can spend the rest of our lives telling me you told me so."

That was appealing on so many levels. "Why are you going to Midgard? You can bring them here, we're happy to take refugees."

"I know, but Thor has a soft spot for Earth. And besides, it's ten times the size of Alfheim. It can absorb our numbers much easier."  
"Then _you_ come here."

He smiled faintly. "I'm afraid I've come down with a terrible case of loyalty and morals. It possible my actions may have added to our woes. I owe it to Thor and my people to see them safe. Then I'll be more than happy to come to Alfheim and throw myself on your tender mercies."

"Oh, Loki." She reached up and touched the air near his face. "I love you. Be safe."

He tilted his head, as if he could feel her touch. "I love you, my dear heart. I'll be with you before you know it."

The next morning, she ended up telling her brother everything. Boe was occasionally oblivious, but he had always been sensitive to her moods. He had long known about Loki - she'd refused to let him think she was having an affair with Odin - but the whole destruction of Asgard was new.

"I admit," he said when she was done. "I thought he'd break your heart eventually. I had assumed it would be leaving you for someone who'd let him get away with a lie once in a while. Becoming a refugee from his destroyed homeland is original, I'll give him that."

"I'm not broken hearted," she told him, throwing a pillow in his general direction. "He'll be here soon."

She saw no reason to mention that when she said that, her head hurt in the way it did when she lied.

For weeks she went on as normal. She met with the fishing and textile guilds, broke ground on a new healers academy, and worked on plans for the upcoming Summer Solstice festival. She listened to Boe's troubles, teased him about catching him and Colm kissing in his office, and tried not to think about Loki.

The amazing thing about faking it till you made it was it apparently didn't count as lying.

She was starting to think she'd gotten the hang of working through the worry and pain when her brother turned to ash before her eyes.

It took months to find out what had actually happened. Alfheim was a small realm, out of the way of the larger, more populous ones, so it took time for information to find its way to them. When it did, she at least got an answer to what had happened to her brother and everyone else who had turned to ash. 

She had heard of the Infinity Stones - almost everyone who used magic had - but it had never occurred to her that someone might actually collect and use them. And to use them for this? Thanos must truly be a madman.

Logic dictated Loki had disappeared with the rest of them. She knew that. Were he alive, he would have contacted her. But there was a small, fragile part of her that hoped, somehow, that he'd survived. Loki had the devil's own luck. Surely something as random and capricious as the Ash would have missed him.

Her days were busy. Boe was gone, so she was now the Queen of Alfheim and there was work to be done. There were orphans to house and food to harvest and grow. Guilds had lost leaders and members. Some jobs were no longer needed - no one was buying jewelry or other luxuries - but others needed more attention. Half the population was gone, but those left would need to eat, and the crops weren't going to tend themselves. She was out in the fields with the rest of them, earning blisters and getting dirt under her nails.

What she couldn't do, she sent Colm to take care of. He was mourning Boe, as much if not more than her, and she knew him well enough that if left to his own devices he'd drown that grief in drinking. Many people had, some had lost their lives to it. She was occasionally tempted to do the same, but work kept her steady and in return she kept Colm steady.

Nights were her own, though. She spent them practicing the tricks Loki had tried to teach her. Her magic had always sort of rejected his sort of magic, based on tricks and illusion as they were, but there were a couple things she could manage. 

Just shy of the first anniversary of the Ash, she sent a projection to Thor, on Midgard, to ask what had happened to Loki.

She found him wallowing in his own grief and guilt, drunk to the point of near incoherence.

Still, he recognized her after a little prodding and was able to attempt an explanation before a Kronan started shouting about ghosts. Then a dark skinned woman with a strong air of exasperation showed up and gave her a better, if brusque, telling of the days before Thanos's victory.

"He died bravely," she offered, almost reluctantly. "Trying to save Thor and the others."

Asgardians loved a brave death. Glorious in battle. Alfheim had no such interest, so her words, while meant to be kind, gave Syn no solace.

It was hard to lose hope. She hadn't realized how much hope she'd had pinned on him being alive until it was taken away.

Colm helped her through it, once she managed to tell him. He hugged her, for a very long time, and they seemed to come to some sort of silent agreement. They would live, they would survive, and they would not let the other fall.

*

_Four Years Later_

"We should hold a festival."

Syn looked across the desk she shared with Colm, one brow hiked up almost painfully far. "Who are you and what have you done with my friend Colm?"

He chuckled, sipping his morning coffee, which surely had to be cold by now. "The people need something to boost morale. Our harvest looks like it will be the best sine before the Ash. It's time."

She considered, twirling a pen through her fingers. "I did always love the summer festival."

"You were quite the sight with your flower crown, whupping the boy's collective asses at the archery contest."

It felt good to smile at the happy memory. He was right, it was time to start celebrating things again. "So you're going to help me plan this great fest-" She broke off, frowning.

Colm was immediately on alert. "What is it?" 

"Something. . ." Her magic was going berserk, clanging like alarm bells in her chest. "Something's happening. Or. . . it's going to happen." She stood slowly, struggling to breath, as if the air had become thick and heavy.

There was an odd sensation, as the world itself had popped its ears. And then her brother was standing next to Colm's chair.

Boe blinked, looking around in confusion. "What. . ." He looked at Syn and blinked again. "What are you wearing?"

She covered her mouth with her hands, stifling a strangled scream. Colm gave a shout and stood, wrapping Boe in his arms and lifting him off his feet.

Boe had gone from confused to completely perplexed. "Darling, I'm glad to see you, as always, but-"

"Shut. Up." Colm said, voice muffled in Boe's shirt.

When he finally put him down, Syn managed to move around the desk and hug him herself.

"I'm clearly missing something," Boe said, holding her tightly. "Did I die and forget about it?"

"Yes, actually," she said, leaning back to wipe at her eyes. "Five years ago, half the universe died."

He stared at her, as if he wasn't sure if she was somehow lying without pain or had simply lost her mind. Before he could ask, there was screaming in the hall way. The three of them moved as one, spilling out of the office to find people in the middle of tearful reunions. Syn recognized one of the guards hugging his son, who had worked as a messenger in the palace before the Ash. To the left, down the hall, a cluster of maids and secretaries were all hugging and crying and bouncing up and down in joy.

"Okay," Boe said slowly. "i think I need more explanation."

"Your highness," someone called from the other end of the hall.

Syn and Boe both turned and said, "Yes?" in unison. 

It was one of the throne room guards who blinked and gaped when he saw Boe, then seemed to notice the other commotion in the hallway. Syn saw the realization cross his face and stepped forward to get his attention before he could run off and look for whoever he'd lost. "What is it?"

"Oh. Uh. A man just stepped out of a portal and asked for you. By name."

Nothing about today was making sense. She looked back at Colm and Boe who nodded and followed her to the throne room. 

Sure enough, a young man with a shaved head and orange robes was waiting there. He bowed when he saw her. "Queen Syn of Alfheim. I was told you might be willing to come fight Thanos and end his mission once and for all."

Syn stared at him for a long moment, feeling the corner of her mouth slowly curl up. Then she looked over at Colm to find a similar smile curving his mouth. "How long do you need?" she asked him.

"Ten minutes," he replied.

"You have five."

He grinned, snapped her a salute, kissed Boe's cheek and ran off.

Syn turned back to the man from the portal, now fully smiling. "My dear sorcerer, I am more than willing to come. And I will be bringing my army."

She was not a stranger to battle. She and Boe had raised an army and taken the capital back from Odin's steward, once upon a time. Said victory was how she'd met Loki, in fact. She was a brilliant tactician, deadly with the bow and staff, decent with a sword. She didn't shy away from fighting, though she tried not to seek it out.

Her brother, on the other hand, was a warrior born and bred. He could take her plans and adapt them to any surprises on the battle field. Soldiers followed him, trusting his orders. Together they were an unstoppable force.

After stepping through the portal, they'd taken stock of the battlefield and exchanged a glance. Boe had nodded and raised his sword, leading the foot soldiers down the hill to the fray.

"Archers!" she yelled. "To me." They followed her up the pile of rubble and ruined building to their right, lining up along the edge to take aim. "Take out the masses before they reach our lines," she called as she notched her bow. "Ready. Fire!"

A cluster of arrows - magic and mundane - arced through the air, hitting the enemy with a series of thumps. They rapidly reloaded and a steady stream of projectiles continued to thin enemy lines.

Her brother was in the thick of it, and whenever she took a break to notch an arrow, she looked for him. Colm was at his side, watching his back, and she trusted him to take care of it. She managed to take out a few enemies trying to flank them.

At one point, a cluster of dog-like aliens tried to come at them, running up the hill leading to their perch. Syn and a few of the others with hand-to-hand experience met them, and for a few minutes she got to take out five years of anger and grief on them with her staff.

It was clear that Thor's little group had some greater plan and the rest of them were just buying time for them to get on with it. Syn didn't like not being out of the loop but it was a relief when the creature she was fighting turned to dust as her staff sliced through him.

Silence covered the field. Something was happening in the middle of it. From what she could tell from her vantage point, it seemed they had lost one of the team. Those of them at the fringes of the fight gave them space to grieve, but when the sorcerers started trying to herd people back into the portals, Syn broke away to find Thor.

He was fatter and hairier than last she'd seen him, but sober and pleased to see her. She got a sweaty hug and everything. "Thank you for your help," he said solemnly once he'd released her.

"You're very welcome," she told him sincerely. "I owed him a fight." She studied his face. "My brother came back. The others. . . did Loki-?"

His face fell, and he shook his head. "He was killed before the snap. I'm afraid he was not part of the magic that brought the rest of them home."

It was the answer she'd expected, unfortunately. She rubbed a hand over her chest. "I thought as much. It was just. . . for a moment I thought I felt him again."

He nodded and touched her shoulder gently. "I share your grief. And I'm sorry."

She covered his hand with his and gave it a squeeze. "Thank you. And I'm sorry about your team mate. He was a good warrior." She hoped that was the right Asgardian thing to say.

It seemed so, because he gave her a sad smile and nodded.

After that, there was nothing to do but find her brother and go home.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Pi day everyone? Are we all enjoying our social isolation? I am, I've been training for this for years.

_Six Months Later_

"What do you mean you're leaving?"

Syn had to fight a smile, Boe had sounded remarkably like their foster father when he'd said it. "It means I'm leaving Alfheim. To travel on my own for a while."

He opened and closed his mouth. "But the relocation and housing project. You know the construction guild hates me. And the festival planning. You can't-"

Colm put a hand on his shoulder, stopping the flow of protests. "Boe. Let her talk."

She shot him a grateful look. "The housing project is almost done, less than a hundred individuals are still without permanent housing, and most of those buildings are in progress already. I've spoken to Finn and he's happy to work with Hilde with the last finishing touches. And she's assigned two of her assistants to helm the festival planning. She's also lining up interviews for more secretaries to help take over my other duties."

"But-"

"Brother," she said quietly. "I put this realm and my duties before my grief for five years. I was the best queen I could be, keeping it running with blood and sweat and the very tips of my fingers. Words cannot describe how happy I am that you're home. That everyone has their loved ones back. But I don't. There is still a hole in my heart that bleeds every day. And I've found I cannot mourn properly while I'm here."

His face softened and he looked up at Colm, covering his hand briefly where it still lay on his shoulder. "Where will you go?" he asked.

"I don't know." The words themselves were oddly freeing. "I've arranged passage on the next shipping freighter to Vanaheim. They'll drop me at Farpoint. From there I can buy my own ship and travel where the stars take me."

"You'll keep in touch. Tell me all about your adventures?"

"I will. Loki taught me a few tricks, I can pop in and see you when you least expect it."

"Well that sounds terrifying." He stood and walked around the desk to hug her. "And you promise you'll come back to me someday?"

"I do." She held him tightly. "I swear by the tree, I'll come back to Alfheim."

"Good." He kissed her cheek. "Be safe. Spirits watch you."

"Thank you."

She left two days later, after a long string of teary goodbyes. She packed light, a few changes of clothes, some jewelry and money to be exchanged into credits once she reached Farpoint. It would be more than enough to buy a ship and several months of supplies. If she needed more, well, there was always work to be found.

*

Loki had done a thing or two in his life that may have warranted some sort of jail cell, but he ended up in one for something he absolutely did _not_ do. Only nobody believed him. 

Best he could tell, someone in New York City fucked with the timeline around when he was trying to conquer Midgard. The inter dimensional Time Cops—he hadn’t known those existed—had tracked him down and insisted it had to have been him. He got a laundry list of his misdeeds in other timelines, which did not seem at all fair, and was summarily locked up.

Given all the information they clearly had, Loki had no idea why they thought they could contain him. He couldn’t teleport himself out of the prison because he didn’t know where he was. Their time travel devises, however, were perfectly simple to steal.

And now he was committing the crime for which he’d been wrongly imprisoned. 

Time travel wasn't as much fun as playing with the tesseract, of course, but probably put less of a target on his back. The TVA, were obviously trying to get him - and their toy - back, but the tesseract tended to draw more attention. He found himself a timeline with no Thanos, but that didn't mean some other madman with a vision wouldn't try to follow in his footsteps.

He found a small spaceport to hide out in while he planned his next moves. It was a hub station, near several worm holes and trade routes. Thousands of people from all manner of planets made their way through it each day. He'd blend in easily.

Loki rented a room, and holed up for a bit. Then he decided to hit the station bars, to see what he could hear. If he was lucky, he’d find leads on a ship he could steal.

The bar was fill of potential marks, but at the end of the day, it really was easier to start a card game and bluff everyone out of money. Buying a ship wasn't as much fun as stealing it, but possibly less likely to get himself shot.

Halfway through his game, the hairs on the back of his neck rose, and he was suddenly certain someone was staring at him. Very cautiously, he turned.

There was a woman, a few tables away. She wore a dark blue tunic and had elaborately braided hair. A staff of dark wood was strapped to her back. And she was staring at him as if she'd seen a ghost.

He had no idea who she was, or why she was staring at him. He warned between his instinct to flee, and the curiosity that often got him in trouble. She was gorgeous. Even if he didn’t know her, he might like to.

"Eyes on your cards," one of the aliens at his table rumbled. He was large and green with a nose that didn't look anatomically efficient at all. Loki put his IQ somewhere south of a large block of salt.

“If I wanted to cheat, I wouldn’t have to move my head,” he replied. Because he was already cheating. Just a little.

Of course, just saying the word 'cheat' put a few of them on alert. So when he won the next few hands the grumbling started. The pile of credits in front of him was more than enough for his purposes and he thought it was best to make his escape.

Impractical Nose put a hand on his arm when he tried to get up. "You're not done yet.”

He debated the trouble just vanishing his credits back to his room would cause, and aimed to sound bored when he said, “You don’t want to start a fight with me.”

"Don't have to fight you to get my money back.”

With a sigh, Loki removed his credit pile in a flash of green, and summoned his daggers. “I’m afraid you do.”

Everyone else stood up and suddenly he was facing four opponents. He was already planning out his attack, predicting who would come at him first and who was armed with what.

"Honestly, darling, your ability to make friends wherever you go is simply astounding."

The voice was cool and calm, with a crisp accent he couldn't place. He knew, without even looking, that it was the woman.  
She set a tray of drinks on the table where his credits had been and turned a charming smile on the four he was facing off against. "Gentlemen, I apologize. I know he's not the most gracious of winners, but that's hardly an excuse to be poor losers, is it?"

The four of them exchanged glances and slowly lowered their weapons. "No," one of them said, like a scolded child.

Her smile went up a notch, as if rewarding them for the correct answer. "Please, enjoy the drinks, on me. They'll take the sting out of it, trust me.”

Loki turned to stare at her. His evening may have just gotten very interesting indeed.

"Start walking before they figure it out," she muttered, moving away from the table towards the door.

Always one to take an escape route when offered, he followed her, not glancing back.

Out on the street, she lead him away from the bar and onto a less crowded street before turning to him and bracing her fists on her hips. "After you explain how you survived - once again - you'll give me an excellent reason for not contacting me.”

Mistaken identity. That was disappointing. “I’m sorry, I’m not whomever you think I am. We’ve never met.”

She blew out an irritated breath. "Loki, I'm _really_ not in the mood. I recognized you under a guise of Odin I can recognize-" She stopped abruptly, staring at him. She leaned closer and he felt a slight whisper of magic swirl over him, presumably from her.

The sudden change in her was remarkable. It was as if a light went out. "Oh," she said softly, an unspeakable amount of grief in the word. "You aren't my Loki at all." She swallowed and took a step away from him. "I apologize. You're right. We don't know each other.”

“Wait,” he said, now completely confused. “But you do know who I am.” 

She shook her head, moving past him, back to the street. "I knew a version of you. You're someone else entirely.”

This time had, or would have had, its own Loki. He knew Ragnarok had happened and that Asgard and his family were gone here. Himself too, he assumed. One of the reasons it seemed like a good place to hide out. 

He followed her. “Wait, who are you?”

"Syn the Truthful, Queen of Alfheim." She shook her head, not looking back at him. "It doesn't matter.”

“Yes it does,” he replied, having no idea why that was so.

"It doesn't," she said, stopping suddenly to turn and look at him. She still looked unbearably sad and that bothered him, somehow. "You're curious and trying to figure out if you can use this to your advantage and I just. . . I can't. I haven't the strength to play whatever game you're planning. I knew this was impossible, I should never have spoken to you.”

He stared at her. “You know me well enough to know that.”

She sighed and crossed her arms over her chest defensively. "He told me once I knew him better than anyone ever had.”

“He being the other me? What happened to him?”

Her throat worked. "He died.”

“Was is Ragnarok? Or Thanos?”

She hesitated a moment, likely wondering if she shouldn't say too much. Finally she said, "Thanos. You - he - took the tesseract from the vault at Asgard during Ragnarok. Thanos found him and killed him. And a number of Asgardians in the process." Her mouth thinned bitterly. "I'm told he died bravely.”

Loki scoffed. “How very Asgardian.”

"Yes." She studied him a moment. "I came out here to forget, to try to heal. I did not expect to run across his doppelgänger.”

“I _am_ Loki,” he replied. “Just a different one.”

"You are not _my_ Loki," she said. "You're not even the right Loki for this time line. Do you have any idea how painful it is to be standing in front of someone who looks and sounds and _smells_ the same as the person you lost and _isn't them_?”

“Hey! There they are!” The men from the bar had come to their senses, and come out looking for trouble.

Loki grabbed Syn’s arm. “Come on.”

She made an annoyed noise but went with him, ducking down another side street in an effort to lose them. 

“How good a fighter are you?” He whispered.

The corner of her mouth quirked up in an enigmatic smile. "I'm adequate.”

“I can’t believe there’s anything you’re only adequate at.” He turned into a smaller alley.

"Hmmph." He couldn't really decipher that noise, but it likely didn't matter. They'd run out of alleys to hide in and the footsteps behind them were getting louder. He released her arm to pull out his knives and saw her tug her staff off its ties, twirling it over her shoulder and under her arm before turning to face the group chasing them.

Loki liked a good fight, if the opponent was a challenge but not a real threat. This crowd might have been if he was alone, but his new friend was so much more than adequate at hand-to-hand combat. She had, as it turned out, magic as strong as his.

He dispatched his last foe in time to watch her strike hers multiple times with her staff then blow them back down the alley with a burst of magic. Then she tossed her braid back over her shoulder and looked over at him. For the first time since she'd realized he was a different Loki, she was smiling.

“No wonder the other version of me liked you,” he said with a grin.

She twirled her staff onto her back, still smiling. "He liked sparring with me.”

“I’ll just bet.”

"Well, this has been. . . strange, but I think I'm done now. Good luck on your travels. I think I'll find somewhere less populated to stay.”

He had the strongest urge not to let her go. It was almost a physical pull. “Wait. Can I hitch a ride?”

She turned and gave him a look of utter incredulity. "Are you serious?”

“Yes. I really need to get out of here. When I use the time device or the tesseract, they find me.”

"Of course you have the tesseract. It's always that damned tesseract." She sighed and looked skyward a moment. "Fine. A ride. One destination. And you give me some of your winnings so I can resupply.”

He held out his hand. “We have an accord.”

She looked suspicious - she did know him well - but reached out to shake his hand. "I'm in berth thirty four at the docks.”

“I’ll be there in an hour.”

She nodded and walked away. He really hoped she was at the docks when he arrived.

*

"Stupid," Syn muttered. "Stupid, stupid, stupid." She emphasized each word by stacking a box of food on her pantry shelf. She should never have agreed to take him anywhere. Stuck on her ship with him till spirits knew when. She should leave, before he got here. She had enough money and supplies, she didn't need his payment or his presence.

But her head hurt at just the thought of it. She'd shook his hand, which meant she'd made an agreement. To break it would cause her intense pain, if not a proper stroke. Breaking deals was how her family had gotten their damn truth curse in the first place.

She sat back on her heels, looking at the ceiling of the pantry and taking a deep breath. She would not cry. He would be here any minute and he would not find her crying. The Queen of Alfheim did not cry.

It wasn't fair. She had just started to. . . enjoy her travels. The lack of rules, or obligations. She stayed where she wanted and left when she felt like it. It was easy to find work as a healer or magic worker. The galaxy was full of new experiences for her to try.

And then she'd seen him, sitting in that bar, and the wound that had finally started to scar over was ripped open and bleeding again.

She'd known it couldn't possibly be her Loki. He was dead, scattered in some remote portion of space. Even if he had found some way to survive, he'd have found her by now. He had promised to come back to her, he would have, if he could. But she'd hoped. And hope was so hard to deny.

Putting the last box of ration packs on the bottom shelf, she stood and shut the door. One trip. He'd sleep in the spare room and she'd avoid him as best she could. And then it would be over and she could start again.

“Your highness?” She could hear him called from the ramp. “Permission to board?”

Hearing his voice did nothing to ease the ache. She was going to go mad. 

Syn pushed the thought down and headed for the front ramp. "Granted," she called when she got close. "I hope you travel lightly.”

“I own only the clothes on my back,” he said, seemingly as melodramatically as possible.

She fought down the smile he was clearly trying to cause. "Convenient." She gestured for him to follow her through the cargo area and up a spindle spiral stair to the living quarters. "You can sleep here," she told him, pointing to the extra room.

“Where do you sleep?”

Pointing down the hall, she said, "That door. And the bridge is through the blast door just beyond.”

“Your hospitality is most gracious,” he told her, suddenly all Royal Manners.

"The bridge is locked to my genetic signature, via technology and magic, as is my chamber door. You're not getting into either, though I'm sure you'll try. You have twelve hours to tell me where you want me to drop you, or I'm picking for you. Food's in the pantry, I don't cook for you.”

He looked affronted. “I would not try to force my way into your bedroom.”

She'd been fairly certain of that, he might not be her Loki, but even at his worst he was not that type of monster. It was still reassuring to see the truth on his face. "It was a precaution. In case your famous curiosity got the best of you.”

“Yes, well. Sometimes curiosity ruins your life.”

There was something in his tone that gave her such deja vu. In his more introspective moments, he had sounded just like that. "In some cases, it can do more than ruin it.”

“Is that how your me ended up dead?”

She considered a moment, the long chain of events that had lead to Loki's death. "No, it wasn't curiosity. I don't know what he was thinking, taking the tesseract from Asgard. But I believe he died because of loyalty. And love." She smiled thinly. "Probably not the best lesson to teach you.”

He lifted a shoulder. “Sentiment rarely leads to the best result.”

"Better to let it burn," she replied, ignoring the odd bittersweet pang in her chest. A chime went off and she glanced back in the direction of the bridge. "That's my take off clearance. Get comfortable, we'll be in the black in a few minutes.”

Loki dipped his head. “Your highness.”

Walking to the bridge, she wondered how long that was going to feel like a blade to the ribs.

She got out of the atmosphere, her course locked in, and then went to get herself some food. Loki was in there, attempting to heat up a frozen meal.

She braced a shoulder on the doorway, watching in amusement while he fumbled with the stove and how to open the package. When he was about to put it in the box with the wrapper still on, she nudged him aside and took over. "And you call _me,_ 'your highness.’"

He went to sit back down. “You know, I was wondering. If you’re here, who is running Alfheim?”

"My brother," she said. "Boe. He's the king.”

“And you are Queen?”

"Yes." The chime beeped and she used a cloth to remove the dinner, setting it in front of him. "Do you know what happened here? When Thanos used the stones?”

“People vanished, and then returned several years later.”

Such a simple and dismissive way of putting it. She went back to the shelves to make herself a cup of tea. "Boe disappeared. I didn't. I was Queen in my own name for five years, then he returned. He did not require that I renounce my title and offered to rule as partners. Which we did until I left.”

He seemed to consider that. “Is that why you left? Couldn’t share?”

She chuckled. "No. We got on very well, actually. We have different strengths so splitting up the duties required of a ruler was easy.”

“Yet here you are.”

Syn poured hot water in to the tea cup and stirred a bit of cream in as well, before wandering over to the table. "I ruled Alfheim for five years, after what truly seemed like the end of the world. I gave everything I had into keeping its people alive. Into building a future. And then someone undid the apocalypse and everyone got back the people they loved. Except me." She sipped her tea. "I wanted time to mourn. To have no responsibility, no one to answer to but myself. I felt I'd earned it.”

He watched her. “Did it help?”

"I thought so.”

Instead of answering, he dug into his food, and she watched the top of his head for a moment. His hair, she noted, was much shorter than she’d ever seen it. Looking at it helped her remember how very much he was not hers. She sipped her tea and few a few minutes they were able to share a companionable silence. Loki, for all he loved the sound of his own voice, knew how to be silent when needed.

There had been moments she'd been lonely, traveling on this ship. She was used to a palace full of people. Even after the Ash, there had always been Colm and secretaries and guards. Maybe, if she could find a way to detach from him looking like Loki, she could find a way to enjoy the company.

“I must confess,” he said. “I have no idea where I want to go. I can’t imagine I’ll know any better in the morning.”

She studied her drink as if it might hold the secrets to the world. "What kind of place do you want to go? I might know somewhere.”

“For the moment? Somewhere safe. I need a break from looking over my shoulder.”

"Well, anything less dangerous that the place we just left if going to take a while to get to. We have time to figure out the details.”

“Where were you headed? Originally.”

"There is a moon, Noveria, just outside Xandar space. It's supposed to have a fruit that tastes like your favorite memory."

He raised a skeptical brow. "What in the heavens does that mean?"

Syn laughed. "I have no idea. But I wanted to try it.”

“Now you have the attention of my curiosity.”

She wasn't the least bit surprised. "I suppose it's as good a destination as any.”

Loki’s smile was genuine. “Noveria it is, then.”

He closed himself up in his room after eating and Syn decided to sit on the bridge and watch the stars drift by. It was late, but the ship's computer, and given the utter silence behind her she assumed Loki was asleep.

Reaching into her tunic, she pulled out the pendant she always wore, a little circle of glass with preserved petals pressed inside. Loki had given her many trinkets and jewels, some his mother's, some new. This was by far her favorite. He had given it to her on the anniversary of the day they met.

"I don't know, darling," she said quietly. "Maybe it is a mistake. But he's here now. I'll have to put up with it at least until Noveria." Twining the chain around her fingers, she looked back at the stars.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How's everyone doing? Hanging in there? Washing your hands, social distancing, protecting your mental health? Good. Good. Have some entertainment.

Loki didn’t know what to make of his host. He wasn’t entirely sure she wasn’t going to wake up and toss him out of the airlock. Somehow that thought made him like her all the more.

He did not have time for any kind of entanglements. But he liked her.

“Did any of the Asgardians survive?” he asked her over tea in the morning.

She looked a little surprised at the question. "A couple thousand," she told him. "They settled on Midgard. The equivalent of a small fishing village.”

“Why in hell are they on Midgard?”

She shrugged. "It's where your brother wanted to take them. I offered Alfheim, but it's rather small in comparison and you thought Midgard would absorb the numbers better.”

“Honestly, if I never saw Midgard again, it would be too soon.”

She tilted her head. "I never asked where in your timeline you broke off. Clearly you've have your ill fated adventure with the Chitauri?”

“I really don’t want to talk about that.” It had taken him quite a bit of time in a jail cell to realize what a mistake that entire mess had been.

"Ah. You _just_ had it." She sipped her tea. "You were more sanguine about it when I knew you.”

“I suppose this would have been a number of years, hence, yes?”

"A few." She paused to count. "Two? Maybe three?”

“Must have been eventful years.” He paused. “How did we meet?”

Her mouth quirked in that little crooked smile he was beginning to adore. "My brother and I raised an army to overthrow the steward Odin had put in charge of the realm when he 'united' it with the others. When I brought said captured steward to Asgard in triumph I discovered you were posing as Odin.”

“The steward. I remember that. I think Father sent him there as a punishment. To him, not to Alfheim,” he added. Though apparently, he’d been that, too.

"He wasn't very good at his job. Which made it fairly easy to raise an army against him, frankly. I suspected something fishy was going on when he informed us Odin had told him to surrender. I did not expect to find you sitting on the throne wrapped in an illusion.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t kill you.”

"I'm sure you thought about it. But. . . you were different. And I did offer you a mutual destruction agreement in return for Asgard leaving Alfheim alone to rule itself.”

“It would have been easier to just kill you.”

She laughed a little, nodding and sipping her tea. "Probably, yes.”

He watched her, the curve of her face and the elegant line of her neck. “I imagine the alternative was quite entertaining.”

That damn crooked smile again. "It was. We broke the stained glass window in Asgard's throne room once.”

That surprised a laugh out of him. “How?”

"We were having sex on the throne and he had to keep an illusion up so no one could see what we were doing. When he came, his concentration was split and our magic-" She made an explosion noise and gestured with her hands to indicate a bomb going off. "He then had to slap an illusion on the window so no one would ask questions.”

“Goodness. I’m beginning to regret I missed this alternative life.”

Her smile turned sad. "There was a great deal of pain before and after. But we were very happy. For a time.”

“He was a fool to leave you.”

"He did what he thought was right." She looked into her tea cup. "That wasn't always easy for him.”

“Doing the right thing never seems to have a good ending, does it?”

She laughed. "I really don't want that to be the lesson of his life. But it doesn't seem to have brought either of us much joy.”

Loki smiled at her. “Maybe we should wander the galaxy for a while, doing the wrong things.”

"Tempting, Trickster," she said, shaking her head. "Very tempting." She stilled, as if realizing what she'd said. Her throat worked a moment and she smiled again, but it didn't reach her eyes. "Perhaps we can find some mistakes to make on Noveria.”

“I will take you up on that,” he said, even though he wasn’t sure she wanted him to.

Her ship, while comfortable, wasn't equipped for FTL travel. It made sense, she hand't been planning to race anywhere, just putter around at her leisure. Noveria was several weeks away, unless they came across a shortcut, so they had plenty of time to get to know each other. Or tiptoe around each other awkwardly, as the case may be.

Loki was generally immune to awkward social situations. But he found with her things were less awkward and more. . . sad. And he also found he hated making her sad.

She spent a lot of time in the bridge, though at this distance she didn't need to watch the helm very much. Loki was starting to wish he'd brought some books.

"Do you know anything about fixing mechanics?" she asked one day, leaning into the dining area.

He looked up at her. “Is something broken?”

"Hopefully not yet, but I'm getting a sensor alarm about the oxygen recirc system I need to check out.”

“I’m nor a fan of suffocation, so I’ll come see if I can be of use,” he said, standing.

He followed her down through the cargo bay and into the back of the ship, then down another ladder he hadn't noticed before. This ship was full of little nooks and crannies one might hide things in. They ended up in what he assumed was the engine room, lined with machinery on two walls, the engine itself a large cylinder taking up most of the center of the room.

Syn seemed to know exactly where she was going, taking a panel off the right wall and crouching to study it. Her slim fingers followed along different cords and cables till she found what she was looking for. "Over there," she said, pointing down the aisle. "There's a crate of spare parts. Try to find something that looks like the Ur rune, hollow, with mesh at one end.”

“All right,” he said, going over to the root through it. How she could tell exactly what she needed, he did not know. All these parts looked very similar. “Did you say there was mesh?”

"Yes, at one end." He rooted a bit more, feeling lost and heard her sigh. "Hang on."

He had no idea what he was waiting for, but after a moment an illusion of a Ur-shaped pipe with one arm half mesh appeared in front of him. It was no where near solid and had a glittery gold sheen, but it was enough for him to help find it.

“You’re pretty good at illusions,” he told her when he brought her the part. “And I’m hard to impress.”

"Well, I was taught by the best." She had a sheen of sweat on her forehead, that didn't seem to match the amount to effort she was putting in fixing the ship. "It takes a great deal of focus, and I'll probably have a headache tonight. But sometimes it comes in handy."

She didn't seem to need his help, but he lingered there, watching her dismantle some of the cords and parts in the cubby. "May I ask how a Queen knows how to fix a ship engine?"

She smiled and glanced up at him briefly. "When Alfheim was conquered my parents were killed. A guard smuggled my brother and I out of the palace on a merchant wagon. The merchant's brother adopted us. I grew up on a farm. Harvester and a space ship aren’t as different as you might think, at least in here.”

“I have never done a day’s useful labor in my life,” he said. “Let alone farmed something.”

"You'd hate it," she told him. "Wake at dawn, never stop moving till dusk. You complained about the paperwork running a realm required, but at least you could do it behind a desk." With a grunt, she pulled out a part that looked identical to the one he'd brought her, except the non mesh side was dotted with corosion. She gave it a disgusted look and tossed it aside, picking up the new one to fit in its place.

“No wonder you started a rebellion.” He picked up the discarded piece. “What do I do with this?”

"It's junk. We could space it. Doubt we'd get any money for it at trade.”

He nodded, and transported the thing out on the other side of the hull.

"I forgot how handy you could be," she said, tossing him a smile over her shoulder. She finished installing the new part and toggled some switches. As she put the panel back on he could hear a faint whooshing sound that hand't been there before.

"Suffocation risk, low," she said, getting to her feet.

He leaned against the wall, just watching her. “They say it’s not a bad way to go.”

"I don't know that it would be my first pick," she said, brushing her hands off. "But there are worse ways.”

“I believe has long as there is an inert gas to breathe, you don’t notice the lack of oxygen, and just pass out. Asgardians can do far longer with less than humans, but it will get us eventually.” 

She was quiet a moment as they made their way out of the cramped engine room. "You," she said finally. "Are even harder to kill than an Asgardian.”

Loki stared a moment. She knew he was Jotun. They really must have been lovers, for him to tell her that. “Suffocation you can feel is excellent torture across all races, I assure you. Even mine.”

She looked back at him, eyes wide in surprise, then soft with sympathy. She reached out and touched his arm lightly and seemed about to say something, then clearly thought better of it. Dropping her hand, she headed up the stairs to the main part of the ship. "He's dead," she said. "As are his lieutenants and army. I saw them die myself.”

Loki followed her. “Thanos? Did he suffer, perchance?”

"A Midgardian witch seemed close to tearing him apart. A woman with powers from one of the stones beat the shit out of him. And he watched all of his forces and plans turn to ash around him before he joined them. I think suffering was involved. Though not nearly enough.”

“I don’t know if eternity would be long enough.”

"I can't disagree." At the hallway to their rooms, she paused and looked at him. "Do you need entertainment?”

He frowned at her, perplexed. “Pardon?”

Pressing a hand to her door lock, she leaned in and came back with a stack of leather bound book. "I'm finished with these, if you'd like to read them.”

Loki looked down at them, in genuine surprise and delight. “Thank you.”

"The Alfan ones are mine, but if you finish the others by the time we reach Noveria we can trade them for new ones.”

“For lack of good books, I’ve thought occasionally about going back to my time just to raid Asgard’s library. Thank you.”

"You're welcome," she said softly. "I hope you enjoy them.”

The fact that she’d given him something of hers made him unreasonably happy. He didn’t understand the pull he felt towards her, or why she gave him an uncharacteristic urge to be honest. He should be figuring out some way to steal this ship or use their fragile friendship to his advantage.

But he didn’t. Because for some strange reason he very much wanted this woman’s approval. Something he didn’t _want_ to want from anyone. That way lie ruin and madness. He should know.

Part of it, he thought, was she seemed very determined not to need anything from him. She was polite, far more than she had been in the first few days. They shared meals together, made small talk and talked about her books. but she seemed to be trying to put distance between them and he didn't like it.

One evening, he was on his way into his room when he heard her call from the bridge, "Come up here a moment.”

He couldn’t read her voice, which was typical, but it made him nervous all the same, and he did an about face to do as she asked.

She was lounging in the pilot's seat, one foot propped up on the console, sipping a cup of tea. "Have a seat," she said, gesturing at the co-pilot's seat. "I picked up something on long range you might like to see."

He slipped into the seat, looking at the screen in front of them. She tapped something on her console and the view changed from normal stars to a swirl of colors, dotted with bright lights. As he watched, a new light flared brightly, like the fireworks they used to set off in Asgard for festivals.

Loki sat up a little. “What is that?”

"It's a nebula where stars are being formed," she said, eyes on the screen. "That's what the flares are.”

It was astonishingly beautiful. “So we’re. . . watching a birth.”

"Several, I would imagine." She sipped her tea. "Happening very far away.”

“It’s peaceful out here,” he said after a moment of watching. “You wouldn’t think I’d like that, but I do. Or maybe I just needed it.”

"Everyone needs peace, sometimes. The chance to stop and breath." She gestured to the screen. "Look at something rare and beautiful.”

“I think I see quite a bit of that lately,” he said, voice quiet.

She was silent, eyes on the colors swirling in front of them, then admitted, "It's nice. Having company on the ship.”

That surprised him. “So I can stop worrying about you tossing me in the airlock.”

Her mouth quirked. "I suppose.”

He sighed. “I never appreciated company until I spent a couple of long stretches of time in a cell. Once it really was more of a box than a cell.”

Syn looked over at him, green eyes enigmatic. "He never talked about what Thanos did to him. He had nightmares, but never gave any details. 'It's not suitable talk for the bedroom,' she said, in an eerily good impression of him. "I know he hated fire and heat, and couldn't wear anything tight around his throat.”

Loki shuddered, reaching instinctively to rub his neck. “Sounds about right.” He watched the nebula a moment. “It stared with cold. I was proud of how long it took him to figure out why that wasn’t working.” 

"And then he switched to heat?" she asked quietly.

He nodded. “I don’t know how much came from him. I never actually saw him. Just henchmen.”

"He wanted you to go to Midgard? Get stones for him?”

“Yes. The stick wasn’t working, so he added the carrot. I believe that’s the metaphor. It’s an effective technique. Break someone, and then offer them their wildest dreams. They will do _anything_.”

She nodded slowly, watching the nebula. "He told me once he had no plan for after. That he was so addled he couldn't see beyond the immediate orders. It was so. . . unlike him. To not have planned the chess match out a dozen moves. I knew then it must have been awful, whatever they'd done to him.”

Loki chuckled with no humor. “I didn’t even really have plans for during. Just vague ideas how I’d grab a scientist, he’d make me a portal, and then the army would win me the earth. Somehow.” He shook his head. “Do you know how many of them there are? Do you have any idea?. Seven _billion_. Seven billion of the most industrious and intractable creatures in the galaxy. They domesticated their own predators as pets and consume poison for fun. The Chitari would have made a mess, but it they couldn’t have held on long even if the Avengers hadn’t shown up.”

"As someone who lived the hell that was the aftermath of Thanos' masterplan, I can assure you foresight was not his strength." She looked over at him. "He killed off half the living things in the universe. No rhyme or reason to it. Healers and teachers died in equal numbers to thieves and killers. Babies starved in their cribs because both parents were gone. Ships crashed because pilots were gone. We had half the people to feed but also half the numbers to produce food. He said he wanted to fix all the problems of the universe and decided to do so by utterly destroying it.”

“For some reason, I thought it was about a woman.”

"Who knows what went on in his head? I think I'd find the idea of him trying to impress a woman more palatable than some idiotic altruism.”

“What happened to the Infinity Stones after he was defeated?”

"From what Thor told me later, Thanos destroyed the ones that belonged to this timeline after he won. So the Avengers had to go into the past to find them before Thanos got them. They intended to return them.”

“Assuming they did, do I now have the only infinity stone in this timeline?”

She tilted her head thoughtfully. "If I'm following the logic correctly, yes.”

“No wonder the TVA people wanted it so badly.”

"That would be who you're running from?" He nodded. "What do you intend to do with the damned thing? Conquer another planet?”

“I have no idea. But it’s powerful, and that might be useful someday.”

She looked vaguely exasperated at the answer but didn't scold him, which he'd somehow expected. "Be careful," was all she said.

“I’m always careful,” he replied.

She laughed a little and smiled at him. “Liar."

He chuckled. “I suppose you do know me well enough to tell, don’t you?”

"Every time," she confirmed.

“Perhaps he and I are not so different after all.”

After studying him a moment, she sipped her tea. “Perhaps."

He was inordinately pleased he’d gotten her to admit that. “How far out are we now?”

"Another week or so, ten days at the most.”

He watched the stars a bit, and the silence was oddly nice. They could be companionable together. “What do you think your best memory tastes like?”

Silence stretched and he looked over at her, holding her tea cup in both hands and watching the stars. He thought she might not answer, when finally she said, "Apple blossoms and winter frost.”

He looked over at her. “Were you eating the flowers?”

She gave him an exasperated look and he wondered briefly how often his counterpart saw it. "Smell and taste are connected.”

“Right, right.” He paused. “I don’t think my mother’s perfume is going to taste good.”

Her nose wrinkled. "Mmm, probably not. Still, will it be nice to experience it again?”

He nodded. “She’s still alive in my time, but there’s no way I could see her. I’m not welcome on Asgard anymore.”

"I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I know you miss her.”

He didn’t want to talk about his mother anymore, so instead he asked, “What is your memory about? Your apple blossoms and winter frost?”

"It involves the other you." She looked over at him. "I'm never entirely sure how much you want to hear about that.”

“The other, happier life I led? I’m all ears.”

She smiled and inclined her head. "it's nothing big. We'd been sharing a bed for a few months and went for a walk in Frigga's garden. It was spring, everything was in bloom. He backed me up against a tree and kissed me. In the process, we both got covered in blossoms. He spent five minutes picking them out of my hair while I laughed." She reached up and fiddled with the necklace she always wore. "It was the night I realized I was in love with him. Though we didn't say it for a long time yet.”

“That necklace,” he said. “It’s from him?”

She nodded and slipped it over her head before holding it out for him to see. "Apple blossoms," she said. "It was an anniversary gift.”

“Clearly he was fond of sentiment.”

"He had his moments." She looped the necklace back over her head, tucking it into her shirt.

“You were happy and that seems so foreign to me.”

"He constantly seemed surprised by it, as well. I think he was always waiting for me to come to my senses and leave him.”

“Knowing myself, that’s probably the sensible thing.”

She shook her head. "We don't chose who we love.”

“I suppose I don’t understand how I was worth it.” He really did not understand why he had such an urge to bare his soul to her. Perhaps that’s how the other him fell in love with her.

"He was different," she said. "More settled. Figuring out our long term plans was complicated. But we have long lives and could be patient. He took care of me, in small ways." She smiled. "And he and my brother sassed at each other at every opportunity.”

Her Loki was not him, and he should remember that. “Maybe there’s a timeline he’s still alive in somewhere, and you’re living happily ever after there.”

"That's a nice thought." She looked over at him. "You have your moments of sentiment, too.”

“Entirely inadvertent, I assure you.”

She inclined her head, crooked smile back in place. "Of course.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Day 13 of quarantine. My daughter is subsisting mainly on eggs and cornbread. My son has gone stir crazy. And last night my husband left a pot of water simmering all night. How are you guys?

Noveria was as beautiful and idyllic as Syn had heard. It was rural and agrarian, in a way that reminded her of Alfheim. Despite having a space port and being space capable, they used pack animals and hand held equipment in much of their farming, and their style of dress was homey and simple.

"Do you need more clothes?" she asked Loki as they headed into town. The dock worker who'd checking in her ship and taken her fee had been very helpful, giving them directions to the market that would be selling the Memory Fruit.

“I just magic my clothing clean and repaired,” he said. “Though I suppose a different look wouldn’t be the worst thing.”

"It was just a suggestion, Mr. I have only the cloths on my back.”

“If I recall I was banned from bringing baggage,” he said primly.

"I didn't say no baggage, I said travel lightly." She glanced at him, in his dark leather and straps. "You look very conquering Asgardian. Ready for a fight. Which is fine. But if you're looking for somewhere peaceful to lie low, this is probably not a look that blends in." She hadn't worn her staff, though of course she could call it if she needed it. She'd even worn one of the few dresses she'd brought, since it was spring here.

“Oh, very well. But I’m not dressing like a peasant.”

"Spirits forbid," she said, pressing a hand to her chest in mock horror.

“Come along, your highness.” He said it with such affection. Not a cold formality that stung, but as an endearment.

They found the clothing district of the market and she followed him around as he browsed. She'd known ladies and socialites on Alfheim who were less picky about their clothing than him. And "like a peasant" seemed to cover every style of dress that was not wrapped in leather.

"It's made of the rarest silk in the sector," the salesman was saying, tone edging onto desperate. "And suits the gentleman very well.”

“It does feel quite nice,” Loki admitted, somewhat reluctantly.

"It's your color, too," Syn said, pitching her voice with just the right amount of detached approval. If she liked it too much, he'd think she was herding him, but if she _didn't_ like it he wouldn't get it at all.

“I suppose it is.” He straightened his shoulders. “This will do.”

The salesman looked ready to cry in relief, so she slipped him credits to pay for it before Loki could change his mind. The shirt was a rich green, open slightly at his throat. With the leather pants of his armor, he looked. . . very nice. "Ready for our fruit?" she asked him.

He offered her his arm. “Lead the way.”

She curled her hand on the crook of his arm. Through the silk she could feel the chill of his skin and the hard muscle of his arm. They walked together to the farmer's district, hunting down the memory fruit stand. She noticed people smiling at them, especially older couples, clearly thinking they were a couple like any other.

The Memory Fruit was extremely expensive, but not nearly much as his shirt had been.

“You think some people have indecent favorite memories?” He asked as they walked down the street with their fruit.

"Oh, they must, mustn't they?" She tried sniffing the fruit, which was almost perfectly round and a lovely blush-pink color. "I don't know what the other Loki's memory would have been, but if it wasn't his mother I'd imagine it would involve me naked.”

His eyes drifted over her. “I can imagine.”

Well, she'd walked into that, really. Ignoring the heat that look caused in her belly, she nudged him to a small park lined with trees. "Ready?" she asked, holding her fruit up.

He grinned. “As much I expect I ever will be.”

They tapped them together as if toasting and took a bite. It had a skin like an apple, that snapped under her teeth, but the flesh beneath was soft and creamy. As she'd expected, she tasted crisp winter wind and smelled spring blossoms. The memory of the night in the garden swirled through her, bittersweet. But for perhaps the first time, it didn't make her heart ache.

“That is remarkable,” Loki murmured. He looked caught somewhere between happiness and grief.

"It is," she agreed. It was some sort of magic, though no one they'd come across so far seemed to be a magic user. She gestured at the fruit in his hand. "Your mother?”

“Yes.” He swallowed. “You were right about the scent.”

She smiled and bumped his shoulder lightly with hers. "I'm usually right," she told him solemnly.

“What did you taste?” He asked.

"Apple blossoms. And Loki's scent.”

He looked down at his fruit. “Do we smell different?”

"No," she said, resisting the urge to lean in and sniff him. "You smell exactly the same.”

“It’s strange when you refer to me in the third person by name. I am the only Loki I know.”

"I'm sorry," she said, taking another bite of her fruit. "It's hard, sometimes, talking about the one I knew versus you. I know you're both the same person. But you are also. . . very different people.”

“But he was once me, no? I’m just an earlier version.”

"Yes. But I didn't know him then." She shook her head. "Time travel, alternate versions of people. Makes language very complicated.”

“Would it help if I looked different?” He waved a hand, and suddenly he was wearing a different face. It was just as head-splitting to look at as ever.

It surprised her, though. "You'd wear an illusion to make me more comfortable?”

“You’ve done me great favors. I probably should have offered sooner.”

"It's a very sweet offer," she said, honestly touched. "But I'm afraid it won't work." She reached out and touched him, making the illusion fizzle and pop. "Illusions don't work on me.”

Loki blinked. “How did you do that?”

"Three generations ago the royal family of Alfheim betrayed the royal family of Vanaheim in a trade deal. In return he cursed them to be forever truthful in all things. We cannot lie and we see the lies of others. Including illusions. It's how I saw through the other one's disguise.”

“I assumed you could just tell by looking at me. Thor could. “ He shook his head. “That is completely terrifying.”

She laughed a little. "Having to tell the truth? Or that I can see when you lie?”

“Both!”

His outrage was hilarious. "Well, I suggest not touching me. It will compel you to tell the truth.”

“You could have told me this sooner.” He didn’t sound actually angry. She’d heard him angry. He was cold and biting and vicious. This was mostly just him and his usual reflexive umbrage.

"Loki, I swear, it didn't occur to me. I'm used to it just being known.”

He made a face. “Is this why I keep confessing things?”

He'd been confessing things? "Most likely. The other you said on occasion I made him want to be more honest, even if I wasn't touching him. I thought at the time he was being. . . romantic.”

“I find I want to tell you things. I want to give you the most true. . . information. Even if it’s something I wouldn’t otherwise talk about.”

"I'm sorry," she said sincerely. "It's not something I can turn off.”

“I suppose then all I can ask is you keep my secrets safe,” he said after a moment.

"You have my word," she assured him.

He looked down at the fruit. “My favorite memory has an odd aftertaste. Could I interest you in finding someplace to have a meal?”

"I think you could definitely convince me. I also saw a little book shop in the shopping area we might like to browse in.”

“I am amenable. Your taste in reading materials is pretty good.”

"Such flattery," she teased as they headed back for the market. "Enough to make a lady swoon.”

“I have lots of compliments. For example, you’re the prettiest girl on our ship."

She laughed. "Really? On the whole ship?”

“Indeed. You are the smartest, too.”

He kept up the litany of "compliments" all the way back to town, where they found a nice little bistro to have supper at. It felt oddly normal, both new and nostalgic, sitting across a table eating with him. Syn tried not to compare him with the version she'd known but sometimes it was almost impossible.  
Still, she had never been to a restaurant with the other Loki, so this was a new experience. He lounged in his chair, like he did every chair. This man could drape himself indulgently in an extra-small folding chair if he wanted to. “I could stay here a few days just for the food,” he said.

"It is delicious." They had been planning to spend just the day there, but Noveria was so peaceful, it was temping to stay longer. "I suppose we could see about getting a couple rooms.”

“That sounds remarkably appealing,” he replied.

It really did. She was about to open her mouth and suggest they do so, when the ground beneath them trembled, a deep rumbling sound coming from somewhere behind her. 

“I didn’t know this area was prone to earthquakes,” Loki commented with a frown.

"Neither did I. There was nothing about it in the data I read." She glanced over her shoulder where she'd heard the rumbling. In the far distance, over the top of some of the shops, she saw what looked like a large dust cloud. "What in the realms-"

"Rockslide!" The call come from somewhere down the street. A woman ran out of one of the shops, a communicator in her hand. "My sister called me. There was a rockslide in the eastern mountains. Half the North End is destroyed."

Cries came from the locals all around them as people started abandoning their meals and jobs to run north.

In a daze, Syn folded her napkin and set in on the table, getting to her feet.

“Let’s go back to the ship,” Loki said.

She shook her head. "I'm a healer. I can help.”

He looked torn. Altruism wasn’t his thing and he was the first person to get out of danger if he could. But then he looked at her and said, “Oh, very well.”

"You don't have to come," she told him, already heading out into the street to join the crowd.

“No, I don’t, but I can lift boulders and might be of use.”

She had expected some flip answer about not letting her rush off into danger alone, or even a joke about looting. He was not touching her, but clearly he was feeling the truth compulsion stronger than normal.

Still, the answer made her smile. Had there been less of a crowd she might have hugged him.

It wasn’t until they got closer that she heard him mutter, “That’s very dirty.” And _there_ was Loki.

That sort of made her want to hug him, too.

She found the person in charge, who initially tried to send them back to town, but once she explained she was a healer and Loki was Asgardian - she could still say that without pain, she wondered if he understood what that meant - they were put to work.

People were already being dug out, or crawling out of the rubble. Syn parked herself at the edge of the destruction and began healing the worst off. Lots of broken bones, some internal damage. Someone noticed how, exactly she was healing people, and the fact she could fix internal injuries that no one could see. Once the fact a magic healer was on site got around, she was pulled further into the thick of it, crouching gingerly on broken walls and rocks, healing spines and crushed abdomens so survivors could be moved.

The sun dipped low, then set completely, and they were then working by the light of lanterns, then large spot lights people set up.

Magic was like anything, it needed fuel to power it. Syn rarely used so much in a day to bother her, but healing could be exhausting. On Alfheim everyone knew that and so during disasters healers were assigned people to ensure they ate regularly and rested so they didn't burn themselves out. There were no native magic users on Noveria, so no one knew the risk she was taking. Loki might have, but he was busy with the rescue logistics and they did little more than cross paths now and then.

She should have said something. She had certainly saved several dozen lives already. No one would have faulted her for resting and eating. But there were people who needed help, including children, and the injuries only got worse as the night went on. So she ignored the exhaustion pulling on her muscles and the growing hungry and the headache burning behind her eyes.

Loki materialized—quite literally—at her side. “Are you all right?”

She wanted to say she was fine. Tried to get the words out. There were more people who needed help, a new building had just been unearthed and she'd been called over. But what come out was, “No."

Now he looked alarmed. “Have you had any rest or anything to eat?”

"We had that lovely dinner a few hours ago." The world was starting to tilt a little and she sincerely hoped that was the exhaustion and not another rock slide.

“Yeah. Magic’s tapped,” he called out to someone in the crowd. And then in a flash of green she was somewhere else.

"Oh, I hate when you don't warn me about that," she muttered, pitching forward. He caught her, arms pulling her against his chest to keep her upright. He really did smell the same and she closed her eyes, leaning onto him. The silk of his shirt was cool, as was the shoulder beneath it, which felt lovely against her flushed skin. He was saying something, but she couldn't understand it properly. She really wanted to sleep, and she knew he was steady and safe, so she let herself go.

She was in a comfortable bed when she surfaced. “Come on, darling. I let you sleep a bit but you need to get some food in you.”

That was Loki's voice, but he didn't call her darling, he called her dear heart. And he generally knew better than to wake her up. She attempted to swat at him, but he caught her wrist and tugged at her.

The smell of food hit her and her stomach suddenly informed her she was starving and was overriding her need to sleep.

She opened her eyes and saw a beamed roof above her. She was confused a moment, then remembered. Noveria, the landslide. 

He was holding a bowl of soup. “You need to eat.”

Propping her hands under her, she tried to sit up. A collection of pillows materialized behind her and she sighed, leaning into them and holding her hands out for the soup. "Thank you," she said, voice hoarse.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t realize how much magic healing took.”

She sipped the broth, the warmth of it settling in her stomach. "I pushed myself too far. I knew better.”

“You have a very generous heart,” he told her.

He managed to make a compliment sound like a scold, which was actually a little impressive. She sipped more soup, leaning back on the pillows. "I have always tried to help, where I could. Healing's a rare power. It felt like my duty to use it, especially as queen. I'd thought the last five years might have burned that out of me but. . . apparently not.”

“Things that are in your nature are impossible to extinguish.”

"It seems so." She drank the last of the soup and he took the bowl from her, putting it aside. "Thank you," she said softly.

“Someone else made the soup.”

She laughed. "Yes. I assumed that.”

“There’s actually enough food to feed a room full of Asgardians. Someone even brought a couple of the memory fruits. The locals are very grateful.”

"There were a lot of children in the rubble," she said quietly. "They wouldn't have survived if I hadn't been here.”

“I know.” He rubbed the back of her hand gently. “You’re someone who will hurt yourself to help others, how in hell did you end up with a man like me?"

He was always confused by that. Even in her time, with more evidence that he was a better man than this one could possibly fathom. "You are a man who would die for the people you love. You just don't know it yet.”

“I think I’d rather stay alive,” he told her.

"I'd rather not hurt myself to save others. It's the willingness that's important." She reached out and touched the center of her chest, where the Loki she'd loved had had a vicious scar. "Luckily, we're both survivors."

“I think my brother would call anything short of gloriously charging towards Valhalla cowardice.”

Syn thought of Thor, drunk and lost, alive but not surviving, in the years after the Ash. Valkyrie, who was surviving—and keeping what was left of Asgard surviving while she tiredly dragged her reluctant King into the next day—would have kicked him in the head if he’d called her a coward.

"I think you would be surprised what your brother considers bravery nowadays," she told him. "People change, even Thor. Even you."

“Have you seen him?”

"Not since I left Alfheim, but I spoke to him a few times after the battle with Thanos. He's also traveling the stars, with a group of mercenaries. He's a very different man than he used to be.”

He got up, and when she turned her head she could see he was making tea. “I thought you said the Asgardians had a settlement on earth.”

"They do. He left a woman in charge. Called Valkyrie. She held the tribe together while he was chasing his grief to the bottom of a keg.”

“I can’t picture it.” He brought the tea over to her.

"From what I was able to glean from his drunken rambling the rare times I spoke to him, he blamed himself for, well, everything. Thanos winning, you dying. Ragnarok. Guilt can eat away at a person, whispering all the things you did wrong. He's not the first to try to smother the voice in drink." She took the cup from him, sipping. He'd added just the right amount of sugar. "Thank you," she said softly.

“Maybe I should go see him. Tell him I’m alive.” He paused. “Sort of.”

"I don't know," she said after a moment's thought. "You and he mended a lot of fences in the years between when you left your timeline and Loki died. Finding out you're alive but not the brother he'd come to peace with. . . might feel like another blow."

Loki looked away, and quietly said, “Fair enough.”

She realized he'd wanted to see Thor for himself, not for his brother. She sighed a little, eyes closing. "Don't listen to me. I'm half asleep. Probably not making sense.”

“Clearly I need to get more food in you.” He sounded happy to have a task. “I’ll be right back.”

"Sugar helps," she offered hopefully.

He came back, bless him, with a plate of desserts. “I don’t know what half of this stuff is.”

She reached out, fingers wiggling in anticipation. "I'm willing to try all of them and solve the mystery.”

His grin was wide, and genuine. The sort that reminded her very much of her Loki. “Don’t make yourself sick.”

"I won't," she replied in a singsong. He set the plate down in her lap and she carefully picked up the first little tart.

“I have the room for a couple days,” he told her. “So you can rest.”

She nodded, chewing the pastry. "With food and rest I usually recover quickly.”

“I’ll go out in a bit and see what I can get as far as updates on what’s happened.”

"I'd appreciate that," she said, sucking sugar glaze off her thumb.

His eyes followed it. “Are they good?”

"Very. Do you want one?”

He seemed to shake himself, and she was suddenly certain he’d been thinking about something else entirely. “I would not mind a bite.”

Aware she was being very, very foolish and blaming it on the exhaustion, she picked up one of the pastries and held it out to him. He reached out, wrapping his hand around her wrist to hold the pastry steady, and took a bite.

Heat pooled in her, in a way she hadn't felt in a very long time. It was chased by a riot of emotions, guilt and fear being top among them. He was watching her intently, writing her reaction, she would assume.

Gently, she tugged her hand out of his and put the treat back on her plate. "I think I need more time," she said quietly. "To rest.”

“Of course,” he said, immediately standing. “I’m in the room just next door, call if you need me.”

"Thank you." He removed the pillows behind her as she settled to lay down. He looked down at her a moment air heavy with something unsaid. Then he nodded once and let himself out.

She slept on and off for two days. Loki woke her periodically insisting she eat. The second or third time she woke, she discovered her room had acquired several stacks of books. Apparently, she'd healed the booksellers' wife and two children, and Loki had taken advantage of his gratitude to romp through his inventory.

As she got better, she received several politicians and grateful citizens. there was a small stack of hand written thank-you notes and scribbles from children. Loki hovered at the edges, making sure no one overwhelmed her or tired her out. It felt very normal, and familiar. The most she'd felt like a queen since leaving Alfheim.

It grew too much quickly, though, and once she was back on her feet, she started making plans to leave. 

"The governor told me about a planet about two weeks travel from her," she told Loki, at breakfast on her last day. "Darillium. It has a system of caves covered in crystal and twilight lasts for hours." She sipped her tea. "When the wind blows just right, the crystals vibrate in harmony and the light makes it look like the crystals are on fire.”

“That sounds very. . . meditative.” 

"It's supposed to be quite beautiful." She studied him, running her thumb along the edge of her cup. "Do you want to come?”

He lifted his eyes to hers. “I assumed you’d be leaving me here. That was our deal.”

She lifted a shoulder, feeling oddly like she was standing on the edge of a very high precipice. "I've grown accustomed to your company. You'd be welcome to continue traveling with me. If you wish.”

She could see him swallow. He looked thrown off balance, something she knew was rare for him. “I would-I would really like that.”

She smiled and leaned over to lightly clink her tea cup with his. “Good."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy April everyone! Deep breaths, we're getting through this together. Separately. In our own homes.
> 
> For anyone who needs an extra cute cat of the day, I'm posting daily pictures of my cats on Instagram and Tumblr.

The air on the ship was different now. Loki no longer felt like she was trying to avoid him. They had a friendship that felt genuine. The other thing, what hummed unmistakably just under the surface, they both made a concerted effort not to acknowledge.

That way lie madness. Or falling in love. Which to Loki was pretty much the same thing.

They read the piles of new books and discussed them. She taught him how to fly the ship, and what all the mechanisms and engine parts were. She was more relaxed with him, and the wall she'd kept up between them was crumbling. He didn't know if that was a good thing, or not.  
Darillium was as beautiful and peaceful as described. They stayed two long days there, exploring the caves and indulging in rich food. The last night, they spent most of it on the balcony of their suite, listening to the caves hum.

“I did not expect to enjoy this this much,” he told her. “Thank you.”

"You're welcome." She glanced over at him, bathed in purple and pink light. "Where shall we go next?”

“Is there a guidebook of interesting planets we could procure?”

She tilted her head thoughtfully. She did that often, it gave him a nice view of the arch of her throat. "The ship's computer might have something like that. If you fed in the right criteria.”

“Someplace with entertainment, perhaps? I love the theatre.” When he looked over at her, he had no idea why she suddenly looked sad.

"Some theater would be nice," she agreed after a moment. "And should be easy to search for. We can find somewhere modern, spend a few days, soak in the culture.”

“I could steal you some baubles.”

"I've never received stolen good before. How novel.”

He grinned. It had been a joke, but now he had to. “I’ll make it something nice.”

"I have complete faith in your taste in jewelry.”

“They after that, maybe somewhere with some good snow.”

She looked like she might say something, he saw a glimmer of humor in her eyes, but she only nodded. "Theater and snow. Should be manageable.”

He found himself genuinely excited about it. He didn’t know how long this journey was going to go on, but it was the most at peace he’d felt in years. “Sounds like a worthy adventure.”

Syn seemed equally excited, doing research on the ship's planet logs and keeping an ear on interstellar radio for anything meeting their criteria.

"There's a play in production on Talos written by a Shi'ar exile," she told him one evening while he was keeping her company on the bridge. "A romance, with a tragic end. It's getting quite a bit of buzz because the Shi'ar are _not_ happy about it.”

“I don’t know that romance is my cup of tea, but tragedy and scandal certainly are.”

"Shi'ar aren't allowed to create things," she told him, tapping in a set of coordinates. "It's punishable by incarceration in a madhouse. I'm told they don't even dream." Syn leaned back and gave him a crooked smile. "Every so often some madman or woman makes their way out of the Empire and creates fantastic things.”

Loki laughed, because there was something familiar in that. “Maybe they’re adopted.”

She grinned at him. "It's always possible.”

“Do people dress properly for the theatre where we are going? If I see any dirty work boots, I’m leaving.”

"Talos is one of the core worlds. Very modern, very urban. There's a large socialite class. People will be dressed to the nines.”

“So you’ll be getting a gown, then?”

She lifted a shoulder. "I suppose I must. I didn't bring any of my formal wear.”

“That seems like a tremendous oversight on your part.” He liked teasing her, just to make her smile.

"I concede, I did not anticipate a night at the theater in my vagabond around the galaxy plan.”

“Then there were serious deficiencies in your plan that I intend to correct immediately.”

Now she smiled. "I can't wait.”

“I’d buy them for you if I had any credits.”

"I can buy my own gowns," she assured him. "Though we should discuss if you have any marketable skills we can use.”

“I’m a prince, I have no marketable skills.”

"Clearly I will be the breadwinner in the arrangement," she teased.

He looked out at the stars for a moment. “What do you get out of it, then?”

"I enjoy your company," she said, leaning back in her chair and propping a foot up on the console. "Even though your interpretation of Alfan fairy tales is extremely wrong.”

Loki laughed. “What?”

"Your interpretation of the False King fairy tale." He'd read her book of Alfan fairy tales before Darillium and they'd talked about it over tea a few times. "It's wrong.”

“Oh, well, that is merely _your_ interpretation.”

"Well. I am the only Alfan on board. So I think that makes me the expert." She waved an imperious hand at him. "It's fine. You're entitled to your wrong opinion.”

“How about we agree to disagree?”

She gave him her crooked smile. “Agreed."

They arrived on Talos two days ahead of schedule. Syn went to go dress shopping—she wanted it to be a surprise—and Loki went to get tickets.

Instead, much to his shock, he ran into his brother.

"Brother!" The word echoed across the damn street and the next thing he knew Loki was in the middle of a rib crushing bear hug.

“For mercy’s sake! Don’t suffocate me!”

"Clearly you'll survive even that." He did put him down and hold hm at arm's length. "I can't believe it. You look exactly the same.

Thor, on the other hand, did not look as Loki remembered him. He'd grown out his hair and beard, and put on some weight, though clearly was as strong as ever. He also, Loki noticed after further scrutiny, had a robotic eye.

Syn had described him as different. That was certainly true. “What happened to you?”

He looked down at himself. "Well. . . you know. Thanos. End of the world. I didn't handle it as well as I might have.”

“Did that include replacing your eye? You could have at least gotten one that was the same color.”

"It was a gift," he replied. "From my new rabbit friend." He scanned the street. "They're around here somewhere. My new crew.”

That did not explain what happened to the original eye, but Loki decided not to ask. “You have a rabbit?”

"He's not really a rabbit, it just annoys him when I call him that. His name is Rocket. Small, angry, yells a lot." Thor grinned, just studying him a moment. "What brings you out here, brother?”

It was strange to see Thor so happy to see him. It was like old times. “A friend and I are here to see a play.”

"Friend?" The grin turned sly. "Perhaps a certain Alfan one?”

“Now how would you know about her?”

"I met her on Asgard! When you were still play acting as Father. And we've spoken a time or two, since you're untimely death. Her people joined us in the final battle against Thanos. Deadly with a bow, and a staff. You always did have luck with women.”

Loki smiled. Apparently this far from Syn, he was perfectly fine lying. “She and I are bumming around the galaxy a bit. Celebrating our freedom.”

"I'm happy for you, brother." Thor clapped him on the shoulder. "You were right. The sun shone on us again. All of us.”

Syn would probably tell him he should tell Thor the truth. But couldn’t find a single reason to. “So you’re happy? Galavanting?”

"I am. More than I have in a very long time. I was never suited to being king. Every time I tried things went wrong. Valkyrie is doing well back on Midgard, I check in on occasion. Perhaps someday I'll find somewhere or someone to settle with. But for now I'm content to travel. And help where I can.”

“Well, then. I am very happy for you.”

Thor smiled at him, looking very much like the companionable brother he'd known for centuries. "I fly on the Benetar, with a group called the Guardians. If you need me, don't hesitate to call." He squeezed Loki's arm. "Even if you don't need me.”

Loki grinned. “I promise I will keep that in mind. If you’re planet-side long enough perhaps we could have a meal together.”

"I'd enjoy that. Very much.”

“It was good to see you, Thor.”

"You too, brother." He hugged him again, possibly tighter than before, before they went their separate ways.

After he got the tickets, he met Syn back at the ship. “You will not believe who I ran into.”

"Are you going to make me guess?" she asked. "You're not arrested, or beaten up, so it does narrow things down.”

“Thor. You didn’t mention the eye.”

"Ah, yes. I only saw him once, briefly, without it, it slipped my mind." She tilted her head, giving him a look that made him think she could read all his secrets. "Did you tell him you weren't the brother he knew?”

“You said you thought it would be upsetting,” he said defensively.

"I did." She stepped closer and kissed his cheek gently. "That's was kind of you.”

“I didn’t want a scene,” he said, but the sentence felt very uncomfortable to say. Even though he didn’t think it was a lie.

"Sometimes the thing that benefits you and the right thing to do are the same thing. Conveniently." She smiled widely at him. "Did you get tickets as well?”

“I did. And I told Thor we should get some dinner.”

The smile widened even more. "That's a lovely idea.”

He sat down and stretched his legs out. “I used to be so angry at him. But lately none of that seems to matter. I suppose that’s you.”

"The truth tends to go hand in hand with clarity." She moved to the counter to make them both tea. "You are very close, in this time. You saved the Asgardians together. And you gave up the tesseract for him.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

She smiled, pouring hot water into two mugs. "Thanos was threatening to kill him. You handed over the tesseract to save his life, then attempted to stab Thanos.”

Loki scoffed. “There is no way I thought I could kill Thanos with a dagger.”

"I was not there," she admitted. "But I believe you were trying to buy time for the others to escape.”

“Heroism is not in my nature,” he replied. “Perhaps Thor is romanticizing my end.”

"Thor didn't tell me about it," she said. "An Asgardian named Valkyrie did.”

He shook his head. “The other me was a very different man, apparently.”

She didn't answer right away, bringing their tea over and setting his in front of him. "We are a product of our experiences.”

“I wonder what the you from my timeline is like,” he said, reaching for his cup.

"I believe I am training to be a fighter and raising an army.”

“Maybe I should go back there and help you. If I have to go back, anyway.”

Her head came up abruptly, eyes startled. "Why would you go back?”

“That’s what the TVA wants. They think I fucked with the timeline and they want me to return to my own. Or sit in their jail. Maybe both. I was in the jail for a while.”

She frowned, sipping her tea. "Clearly we'll need to keep one step ahead of them.”

“That’s why I wanted to come with you. They can track me when I travel by their time device, or the tesseract, or maybe even magic.”

"I promise to protect you," she said with her crooked smile.

“You are a formidable opponent, of that I have no doubt."

She ducked her head, looking briefly shy, then cleared her throat. "So. The theater, dinner with your brother. Then we find a planet with snow?”

He lifted his teacup in toast. “Sounds like a plan.”

*

Syn hadn't been to the theater since she'd attended Loki's ill fated play encore. She was trying very hard not to think about that as she got ready for the play on Talos. But still, she couldn't help but feel the memory of it tugging on her.

Her feelings about Loki and sharing space with him were growing ever more complicated. She was not used to feeling conflicted or not really understanding her emotions. Her truth curse meant she couldn't really lie to herself, even if she wanted to. This time, though, there was just too much to sort through.

It was still over an hour before they needed to leave, and Loki was off in his room getting ready, so she locked her door and settled on her bed to contact her brother.

Loki had taught her how to send a projection, to make living on separate realms easier. She'd never been terribly good at it, until she'd had to work on it to contact Thor after the Ash. She'd had a migraine for days after finally reaching him. But she'd used it many times while traveling to keep in touch with her brother. She found it far easier to reach him than she had Thor, likely because he was her brother, and because he was on Alfheim. There wasn't an inch of that palace she didn't know well and could picture.

She made a show of covering her eyes when she arrived in his office. "Are you decent?"

"Colm's not even here," Boe said and she dropped her hand to find him grinning at her from behind his desk. "Finally remembered to say hello to your brother?"

"Actually, I need some advice. I think I've made a terrible mistake."

He steepled his fingers, face turning serious. "Tell me."

She let it all spill out. Finding the new Loki, taking him aboard. All the way up to extending his stay and agreeing to go to the theater with him. "And now. . . I don't know how I feel about him. And even if I did, do I really feel it for him, or is it just a relic of what I felt for the other one?"

"Say it out loud," Boe suggested.

"I-what?"

"Say your emotions are only because he looks like the Loki you loved. See if you can say it or not and it will tell you if it's true."

It was fascinating, somehow, to learn the different tricks they had both developed. "Seems like cheating," she offered.

He lifted a shoulder. "We inherited this curse from our ancestor, might as well use it to our benefit sometimes."

He did make a good point. She swallowed and tried to say it. "My feeling for Loki are only because-" the words caught in her throat and she felt her head start to pound. She took a breath and tried again, but only managed to get out, "I don't-" before her head throbbed.

"Don't hurt yourself," Boe said gently. "You have a play to attend later."

She rubbed her temples, willing the pain away. It answered one question, but brought up others. "I feel guilty," she admitted quietly. "For liking him."

"Ah. I admit, I didn't know him well. But I don't think your Loki would have wanted you to be alone and miserable the rest of your life. And even if he did, surely he'd make an exception for himself."

Syn laughed a little. "I'm sure he would at the very least see the humor in it." She looked up at her brother. "I really do like him. This one. He's different. But. . . it's not a bad thing."

"You know," Boe said gently. "You're different, too." He blew out a breath. "Colm and I - when I came back, he was different. He'd lived all those years without me, seen the end of the world. He wasn't the man I'd known. We had a lot of. . . reintroduction to each other to do. But I think in the end we were stronger for it. It's possible, that even if fate had given you back your original Loki, you would have had to get to know each other again. You wouldn't have been the woman he'd known. Maybe, instead, fate gave you a Loki who could understand you better as you are now."

That had never occurred to her. That she had changed. But of course she had. All she'd lost, all she'd lived through. She was a different woman. "You are wise beyond your years, brother."

"Why thank you. Do you feel better?"

"A bit. It's still a but strange and complicated. But I feel a bit sorted out. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Now enjoy your play. And bring your new man home for the wedding."

"I don't plan on prop-" She stopped, jaw dropping. "Boe! Are you finally making an honest man of Colm."

He was clearly fighting a smile. "I'm two betrothal gifts in and he hasn't said no."

She shrieked a little, clapping her hands. "It's about damn time. When's the wedding? Summer? How long do I have?"

"A few months, still, but you'd be welcome to come home and help with the planning. Hilde would be eternally grateful."

"I promised Loki snow. But after that, I'll start making my way home."

“I can’t wait to see you,” Boe said.

Loki was knocking on her door.

"I have to go," she told her brother. "I'll message you when I know arrival date." He gave her a little wave and she ended the connection.

"Just a minute," she called to Loki, slipping her feet into heels. "Is it time to go already?”

“Yes, and I don’t want to be late.”

That certainly sounded familiar. She dug out the necklace she'd decided to wear, clasping it around her neck. It was a snug, collar style necklace, studded with diamonds and emeralds. She was quite certain he'd had it designed for her and not taken it out of his mother's jewels. They'd made love several times with her wearing only that, he'd loved tugging at it. 

She gave herself one last glance in the mirror. The dress, which she'd been assured was the height of Talos fashion, would have shocked the ladies of Alfheim. It hugged all her curves and left most of her back bare, with a long V down between her breasts. She'd done the best she could with her hair, braiding and twisting it into a tight knot at the back of her head. It wasn't like her usual formal wear at all. She looked different, icy and removed.

Maybe it was nice to be someone else for a little while.

She grabbed the shawl she was bringing to warm her shoulders and opened her door.

“Finally,” he said. “We really-“ He got a look at her and simply stopped talking. He didn’t even move. Startling that man into into silence was a nearly impossible feat.

Stepping close, she ran her knuckles along his jaw. She really did like him, in a way that was different and oh, so similar, to the first time around. And she was tired of denying it. Tired of denying herself things because she felt she should. She was going to enjoy tonight, and see where it led them.

"I'm sorry dearest," she said. "But I really am worth the wait.”

“Yes,” he whispered, his voice deeper. “You are.”

Mouth quirking into a smile, she slid her hand down to weave her fingers with his. "Shall we?”

“Right now I don’t even care about the show.”

"Nonsense." She tugged him towards the stairs. "Anticipation makes the finale better.”

He let her pull him. “Is there going to be a finale?”

There was that precipice again. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, but she sounded remarkably calm when she said, "I hope so.”

He stopped them both at the top of the stairs, then he let go of her hand to trail his fingers up her arm. Over her shoulder, along her neck, settling to cup the side of her face. He stroked his thumb over her cheek to the corner of her mouth. “How sturdy is this lipstick?” 

He'd caused her breath to speed up, just with that. She managed to get out, “Very."

Rubbing his thumb over her lower lip, he murmured, “Good to know.” Then he let his hand slide slowly back down to hers.

Anticipation. Of course. She should have known he'd get his feet back under him quickly. Tonight was going to be fun.

She smiled and led him down the stairs.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Olives here. Today celebrates 30 days of quarantine. We're all healthy, and grateful to live somewhere that took it seriously and had an early lockdown. Hope you all are hanging in there! Enjoy some smut.

They had excellent seats. They’d probably been expensive. The play was very interesting, well written, well acted. . . but halfway through the third scene, Loki had draped his arm across the back of the seats, and was absently tracing patterns on her skin. He was a man whose hands were never still, and he loved to fiddle with things, such that she didn’t think it was a deliberate seduction. He’d just given himself permission to touch her.

Around the intermission, a lock of hair fell out of her haphazard style and he started playing with that, winding it through his fingers. That was when she gave into the urge to put her hand on his thigh. If she was going to be wound tight as a spring by curtain call, so was he.

At the end of the show, he casually asked her, “Would you like to go out for a drink?”

She seriously considered pinching him, but she could see the heat in his eyes and knew he was toying with her. "While I'm certain there's a club in this town we could get naked on the dance floor and no one would bat an eye, I'd prefer you take me back to the ship and fuck me properly.”

His expression didn’t waver, but she heard the sharpness of his inhale. “Very well. Shall we?”

"Please." He helped her to her feet and they made their way into the crowd moving out of the theater.

The air outside was cool; it was autumn in this hemisphere now, and it felt good against her flushed cheeks. Loki didn't give her a chance to enjoy it, walking towards the docks. He was clearly trying to both stroll and rush at the same time, something she found adorable.

"You could teleport us," she offered. "If you were so inclined.”

“I’m honestly not certain I won’t accidentally drop us into the engine core.”

She squeezed his arm, the muscle underneath hard as iron. "I like seeing you this wound up.”

“I am at a disadvantage. You know my buttons but I do not know yours.”

She had been trying very hard not to mention her previous relationship, or—spirits forbid—make any comparisons. But if he was going to broach the topic, surely she could toe the line. "I promise, you'll enjoy finding them.”

“Oh,” he murmured, something she’d come to think of as ‘danger’ in his voice. “I don’t doubt that.”

They made it to the space docks, looking for all the world like a refined, elegant couple coming in from their night at the theater. She found herself wishing they'd rented a room for the night. Her room on the ship was cozy, but Loki had a tendency to break things.

“Out of curiosity,” he said as they went down the ramp. “Is your room larger than mine?”

"A bit, yes. My bed is certainly larger.”

“That’s what I was asking.” He hit the button to open the airlock to the ship.

It slid open and he gestured for her to proceed him inside. She did so, lifting her skirt a bit to step over the lip fo the door. She heard Loki follow behind her, and the hiss of the door closing and locking behind him.

He reached out and very gently traced his fingers down her spine, to the edge of her dress. She shivered a little and the chill, but stayed still so he could explore. She felt him step closer and looked over her shoulder at him. "There's no fastening. You just slip the straps off.”

“Patience,” he whispered, kissing the back of her neck.

His hands curled around her hips from behind, pressing another soft kiss to her throat. She sighed, tension she hadn't realized she'd been holding melting out of her. A few hours ago, everything had seemed so complicated but right now, it was simple. "I want you," she murmured, turning a little so she could look in his eyes and make him understand. "I want _you_.”

He slid an arm around her waist, pulling her back against him. “There is no one here but us.”

She covered his hand with hers, weaving her fingers into his. "Good." She tipped her head back, searching for his mouth. It was a very light kiss, just a brush of his lips against hers. He had to turn her around to face him before he kissed her properly.

This kiss sent heat right down to her toes. She wound her arms around his neck, tangling her hand in his hair. He held her tightly, not a part of them wasn't touching. It was the most right she'd felt in a very long time.

He lifted his head and murmured, “I will happily take you against this wall, but I think we’d enjoy the bed more.”

The wall was extremely tempting. But she nodded and stepped away when he released her. They headed upstairs to the crew quarters and she let them into her room. Once inside, he kissed her again. For a few minutes, it was just that. His mouth on hers, exploring, his big, cool hands flat on her back, holding her to him. Eventually his fingers found the straps of her dress and pulled it slowly off her shoulders.

She released him so that the fabric could slid down her body. She wasn't wearing a stitch underneath it, leaving her in her necklace and a pair of heeled shoes. His grin was wicked. “Oh, this I approve of.”

That look along was enough to heat her skin. "I'm glad.”

He skimmed his hands down over her breasts, her waist, her hips, and back up again. It reminded her of his little tease before they left for the theatre. It was such an unbearably light touch, and he seemed in no hurry at all.

"Your patience will be the death of me," she hissed at him.

He traced one fingernail over one of her nipples. “Somewhere on Midgard they call it the little death.”

She gasped, nipple tightening at the little prick of pain amongst the pleasure. She didn't trust herself to speak, instead reaching out with her magic and letting it stroke along his skin. He gave a small groan, and then she felt his magic, too, whispering over her, magnifying the same touch of his hands. She quite literally ached, but when she reached for him he clasped her wrists, lifting her arms up over her head and holding them against her bedroom wall. The phantom touch from his magic drifted between her legs.

Syn moaned, hands fisting as he used his magic to stroke her inside and out. Her hips arched, as if trying to get closer to the hands and mouth that weren't there. She tried to gather her wits enough to swirl her magic in him, lighting up nerve endings so he felt everything she wanted to do to him.

He kissed her slowly, deeply, as patient as before, but she could feel the tension in him now. She nipped at him and the kiss got rough and messy. She tried to arch closer to him and his magic pinned her to the wall. She whimpered, and he growled, “Beg me.”

Another whimper spilled from her but she was far beyond caring. She whispered, "Please. Please make me come. Please fuck me," trying to ignore her sudden fear that he might not. That he might somehow leave her here aching and wet and alone.

He released her wrists, stroking his way down her arms and down her sides. “I think you’d come on your own, if I was patient enough.” But then she felt his actual hand between her thighs, his fingers slide along her sex and then plunging inside her. Her body clenched around them as he finger-fucked her. Pleasure kept pushing higher, but the orgasm kept sliding just out go her reach.

" _Loki_ ," she gasped. It had to be him doing it, She'd never been wound this high without breaking before. "Please, please." She tried to reach for him but found herself still pinned. "I can't- please.”

He grinned at her, looking extremely proud of himself. “I’m not done with you yet.” He let her go entirely—his hand, the magic, everything—and she almost slid to the floor. For the first time she noticed he had not removed a stitch of clothing, just in time for it to all vanish in a shimmer of green. She launched herself at him and he caught her, turning and somehow they ended up on the bed. He pinned her arms again as the thrust into her. It was rough and hard and still he wouldn’t let her come.

She gave a sob of relief and desperation. Orgasm or not, it felt so good to have him inside her, above her. She tangled her legs around him, arching into his rough strokes. "Please, Don't stop. Fuck, don't stop.”

He straightened up, holding her legs open wide so they both had a good view. She didn’t think this could possibly get more arousing, but then she was watching him sink into her over and over. Until he flattened his palm over her pelvis, blocking her view. His thumb grazed against her clit and she could see his hand glow with green tendrils of magic. It sank into her, and then let her go.

She screamed, loud enough they would have had the authorities called on them had they rented a room. It was a level of intense pleasure she had never felt before. It seemed to have no end and for a few pounding heart beats it was all she knew. Her body arched like a bow, throbbing with pleasure, muscles clenching around him. She was dimly aware of him still thrusting in her, the friction drawing out her climax even more. His hand tightened painfully on her thigh, and then she could feel him shudder. Magic washed through her, seemingly involuntarily, but she felt another sharp, hot spike of pleasure with it.

He sank on top of her and she wrapped her arms around him, languid and boneless. Her heart was hammering and she couldn't catch her breath, but she was as happy and content as she could recall being in recent memory.

When she'd settled enough to speak, she pressed and affectionate kiss to his temple. "Bastard," she murmured fondly.

“Well, you know. . . first times are always awkward. Next time we’ll do it properly.”

She chuckled, nuzzling his throat. "Very well. I'll give you one more chance.”

“You are a most gracious host,” he replied.

"I try." They lay quietly a little while. She stroked his hair, running it through her fingers and picking out knots. "Thank you," she finally said quietly.

“For finally letting you come?”

"That," she admitted. "And for your patience. In general, not just tonight.”

He shook his head. “It’s you who’ve done me the favor. Many, in fact.”

She stroked his cheek, fingers trailing along his jaw. "It's turned out for the better.”

“It’s a strange sensation to be happy, but right now I am.”

"So am I. It's been a long time.”

He kissed her gently. “Right now, a cabin on a snowy world sounds very appealing. We could lock ourselves in.”

"It does," she agreed. "But afterwards, I need to go back home to Alfheim. My brother is getting married.”

He nodded. “Do I need to make myself scarce?”  
"I told him. About you. Us." She wrapped a lock of his hair around her finger. "You could come with me.”

“Are you certain I would be welcome?”

"My brother is the one who encourage me to give. . . this a chance. I don't think he'll mind me bringing you.”

“I get the sense your brother and I are a bit oil and water, but I would love to meet him.”

"Actually, he and other you got along very well. His fiancé, on the other hand, was always a little skeptical of you.”

“I usually get along fairly well with women.”

Syn chuckled and pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "I wouldn't call Colm that to his face.”

“Ah, I shouldn’t assume. I promise I will be on my best behavior.”

"Thank you." Deep down, she felt oddly giddy at the idea of him being at her side in Alfheim. "But first, I promised you snow.”

“Before that I promised my brother dinner.”

Stifling a yawn, she nodded. "Of course.”

*

Thor’s crew was pretty entertaining, and it was a fun dinner on their ramshackle ship. There seemed to be a dispute over who was in charge of the ship, either Thor or a man named Quill. Loki found it hilarious because it was clear the raccoon was in charge, and he was humoring the two of them.

They were roaming the galaxy in search of a different-timeline version of Quill’s woman, who Thanos killed in this timeline. It took all Loki’s skill to keep his face neutral and not make eye contact with Syn while listening to this story.

"I wish you the best of luck in finding her," Syn said sincerely. "I know how hard it is to lose a lover. And a sibling," she added with a nod to the blue skinned cyborg who mostly lurked in the corner.

"Someday, brother," Thor said. "I hope to hear the story of how you managed to resurrect yet again."

He tried his best to summon up a good lie, but nothing seemed willing to come out of his mouth. He wasn't touching her, but it seemed her curse affected him stronger every day.

He tossed Syn a panicked look and she smiled. "Really, Thor. You know Loki never explains the trick." She sipped the Asgardian ale Thor had produced from somewhere. "I suspect he's simply a cat, and is now down another life. What would that make it, dearest? Three? Four?”

“At the very least,” he replied, a perfect vague answer.

Thor laughed, raising his cup in agreement. Syn then deftly changed the topic to one less likely to require lies. This was the most like a queen he had ever seen her, holding court over a rough hewn table. He was certain she'd charmed the whole crew by the time they were done.

"Keep her close, brother," Thor said as they said their goodbyes. "She's good for you.”

“I absolutely intend to,” Loki replied, and he could have said it holding her hand.

"Your brother is very likable," Syn said as they walked back to their ship. "Adventuring suits him.”

“He honestly looks happier than I have ever seen him. And. . .lighter, I suppose.”

"There's something to be said for living life on your own terms." She tipped her head back to look at the night sky. "It's good to see other people healing.”

“This timeline isn’t so bad after all,” he said with a smile.

"I'm glad it's growing on you," she teased, hugging his arm.

“That is entirely your fault.”

"Thank you, I'll take full credit.”

They spent the next week at a resort atop some mountain. It was cold, and it snowed every day. . .but they barely ever left their room.

Their last night, they bundled in furs and sat on the cabin porch, watching the snow fall and the distant borealis turn the sky a riot of colors.

"There's mountains in Alfheim that get snow like this in the winter," Syn said after a while. "The Capital gets dustings, but not like this.

“Something about the cold calls to me.” He shook his head. “Has since I was a child, but I never understood it.”

"Your skin is always cool," she said, resting her head on his chest. They were sharing blankets, and a chair, and weren't wearing much under the furs. "I like it, always have. Though you sometimes had trouble believing me.”

“You are probably the only woman in the universe to do so.”

"Fortunate, then, that you are sharing my bed and not every other woman in the universe's." she said tartly, spreading a possessive hand over his chest. "My magic runs hot and I'm often flushed. You feel good. Like a cool cloth against feverish skin.”

“I suppose being soothing isn’t half bad.”

"You once spent an entire night letting me use your hands as an icepacks for a migraine. Covering my eyes and the back of my neck. I believe it was what ingratiated you to my brother.”

“Did you tell a lie?” He gestured at her head. “The migraine.”

"More like a series of half truths. I was trying to hide. . .us, because, like you, I assumed Boe wouldn't approve. He saw through it, anything that gives me a headache is going to show on my face. He found you taking care of me and everything came out. After that we were able to be a little more open. On Alfheim, at least.”

“Are you ready to go home?” He asked.

"I am," she said, after a moment's thought. "I miss my brother, and Colm. I've enjoyed traveling. I'd like to do it again some time. But I'm ready to be somewhere familiar and safe for a while.”

He kissed the top of her head. “Let’s go then.”

They left in the morning, setting a course to Alfheim. The trip took a few weeks, through some very empty space. They stopped once to restock and buy wedding gifts for her brother and his betrothed, then pushed the ship to its limits for the last stretch. Syn grew happier and more animated the closer they got.

"Part of it is because I promised to return," she explained as she started their descent into the atmosphere. "I swore it on the tree, which makes breaking it a lie. Fulfilling a promise to the tree tends to release some endorphins." She pointed to the breaking clouds. "There's home."

The Alfan capital sat right at the edge of the water, a sprawling city full of stone buildings and crowded streets. The castle sat on a rise behind the town, also made of grey stone.

She landed at a little space port near the more mundane docks. By the time she'd shut down all the systems and they'd made their way down to the airlock a small crowd had grown. They let up a little cheer when they saw Syn and she waved.

A whistle split the air and she grinned, scanning the crowd. Clearly she spotted who she was looking for, because she hiked up her skirt and ran down the ramp, the crowd parting for her like water around a stone. Loki followed at a slower pace, ignoring the interested looks from those he passed.

At the back of the crowd was a tall, broad shouldered man with sandy blonde curls a few shades lighter than Syn's. He was in dark blue formal wear, but his face split into a familiar grin when Syn launched herself at him. He hugged her, swinging her around once, before putting her down so she could hug the stern, exasperated man next to him.

Loki hung back, waiting for his formal introduction. Reintroduction. Whatever it was.

After a moment, Syn reached back and drew him into the group. "Loki of Asgard, this is my brother, Boe the Just, King of Alfheim, and his betrothed, Colm, Captain of the Royal Guard and General to the Alfan army. Gentlemen, this is Loki of Asgard, next in line to King Thor and prince of Jounheim.”

“I am currently mostly a space vagabond as Asgard is no more, but I appreciate the introduction.” He bowed his head. “Thank you for your gracious invitation.”

Boe stepped forward and clasped his hand. "Syn filled me in on your unique circumstances. Welcome to Alfheim. We're - I'm glad you could join us."

"I'm still on the fence," Colm said, earning him an elbow to the ribs from both the siblings.

"Come, I brought the car to take us to the palace," Boe continued. "Your rooms are prepared and Hilde is dying to rope Syn into her festival planning.”

“Thank you,” Loki said, aiming for as polite and neutral a tone as he could.

Syn gave his hand a gentle squeeze as they made their way to the conveyance that would take them up to the palace. "Ignore Colm," she said quietly. "He's always been overprotective of me."

"He's overprotective of me, too," Boe said conspiratorially.

"Well you deserve it," Syn replied.

"I beg your pardon."

"Colm?" She called ahead. "How many bar fights has Boe started that you had to finish?"

“Forty-seven," he called back.

Boe rolled his eyes. "You propose to a man and suddenly he thinks he can sass you.”

“I do not sass,” Colm muttered, voice as dry as a bone.

It was unfortunate they apparently did not get along, as he seemed like Loki’s kind of person.

The ride up to the palace was only slightly awkward. Boe and Syn kept up a healthy stream of chatter about the wedding plans and the upcoming summer festival it would be a part of. Once they arrived, they parted company and Syn took him to her chambers.

It had clearly been recently cleaned and refreshed, complete with a gorgeous bouquet of flowers on a side tabled. He watched her relax as she did a little circuit, fingers trailing over the furniture. She sniffed the flowers and poked her head in the lavatory before returned to curl her arms around him. "Such a face on you," she chided. "Do you want to leave?”

“I am not making any kind of face.” He paused, because she was touching him, and added, “That I am aware of.”

She smiled and kissed his cheek before releasing him. "I'm really sorry about Colm. He wasn't like that before. I can only assume he's taking out wedding nerves on you." She sat at the edge of the bed, leaning on the bed post. "I'm happy to be home. I thought it might be strange, or hurt old wounds. But I suppose I was ready to be back.”

“If you are happy, then I am happy.”

She tilted her head, studying him, then nodded a little. "Is there anything you'd like to see or do before they rope me into planning help?”

“I suppose the standard tourist spots. And then perhaps the spots you try to keep tourists away from.”

"That could be arranged." She stood slowly. "Do you mind if I change, first? I need to start looking like a queen again.”

His grin widened. “Might I watch.”

"I would be disappointed if you didn't," she told him, tugging her tunic up and off.

He pushed off the wall he was leaning against, and stalked towards her. “How much time do we have?”

She gestured and he heard the door lock behind him. "We'll be called to dinner in about three hours.”

“Seems like plenty of time to change,” he said, reaching her and sliding his arms around her waist.

"I could probably change two or three times," she murmured, winding her arms around his neck. "If I was so inclined.”

He kissed her mouth, her jaw, her throat. “This bed is magnificent.”

She gave a little hum of pleasure, fingers tangling in his hair. "It's even softer than it looks."

They did not, regrettably, make it to any tourist spots that afternoon.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quarantine Day 36: I have a theory that no two people in the world load the dishwasher the same way and they're all wrong.

Her secretary, the infamous Hilde, didn't pounce on Syn until the next morning. Loki didn't see her for half the day, and spent his time perusing the palace library and learning his way around. She reappeared after luncheon and showed him around properly, even going out into the town a bit.

That evening they sat in the den attached to her room, him with a book from the library, Syn with a large stack of papers and something that looked like a map of battle logistics but turned out to be a seating chart for the banquet that would follow the royal wedding.

"Oh!" she said after about half an hour of carefully arranging names. “Raika and her family are coming. Have you ever wanted to meet your cousin, dearest?”

He stared at her. “What?”

"Raika's the current ruler of Jotenheim. Laufey's niece. She inherited when he died." She placed a series of names down, and went back to her stack of cards. "We have trading arrangements with them. They make lovely jewelry.”

“I killed Laufey. And tried to blow up Jotunheim.”

"Well, Laufey killed her father, so she'll probably forgive you that one. The other thing I can't speak to. If you're nervous we can avoid the two of you interacting.”

“I don’t know if. . .” he shook his head, swallowing panic. “Perhaps I should go.”

She looked up and clearly saw his distress. "Loki." She stood and came to join him on the chaise he was lounging on. "If it helps, no one know it was you who sent the Birost to Jotunheim. Odin blamed it - and the destruction of the bridge - on Laufey's attempt to invade Asgard. I didn't hear the real story till I met you.”

“I can’t lie if I touch you.”

"Do you feel the urge to blurt out inconvenient secrets when you touch me?”

“I don’t know. I feel the urge to tell you things.”

She smiled and took his hand, rubbing her thumb across his wrist soothingly. "It's a wedding and Raika is a friend of mine, more or less. She's not going to ask you for details of her uncle's death at a wedding. I can avoid touching you or we can avoid having you meet. It will be just fine. I promise.”

“I can’t touch her or any of her people. Or I turn blue.”

"They use gloves when greeting us. Or we burn.”

“All right,” he said quietly. “All right.”

"I'm sorry, my dearest. I didn't realize it would upset you or I wouldn't have said it so flippantly.”

Loki shrugged. “I suppose that’s a sign that the other me was far more over the whole thing.”

"He was. He wrote a play outing himself as a Jotun in an attempt to sway people's favor towards him.”

He stared at her. “You have got to be kidding me.”

She started laughing. "I'm not. It was awful. There was melodramatic narration by Odin and a little boy painted blue. The Asgardians _loved_ it.”

“Oh, Asgardians love a good melodrama.” He shook his head. “Clearly almost dying addled my faculties.”

"Clearly." Her fond smile drooped a little. "That was the last time I saw him in person. Watching that silly play. Thor interrupted and took him to Midgard to find Odin." Her shoulders slumped and she sighed. "Do you still have the tesseract?”

“Of course I do, what would I have done with it?”

She lifted a shoulder. "I think. . . I've been thinking. And I think maybe you should use it. To say goodbye to your mother.”

“You said that she’s dead in this timeline.”

"She is. Use it to go to a different one. Or use the time travel device to go back and do it here. Just. . . have some final words with her.”

He leaned back and looked up the ceiling. “I don’t know what I’d say.” 

"That you love her. That you'll miss her." She rubbed his leg lightly. "The other Loki, his greatest regret was that his last words to his mother were a lie said in anger. I simply thought it would be a way for you to get the closure he never could." With a gentle squeeze, she released him. "But as I said, it's just a thought.”

He looked back at her. “It’s not a bad idea. Just one I need to think about.”

"Of course. I didn't expect you to run off now." She leaned in and kissed him. "Would you care to retire for the night?”

He pulled her into his lap. “That sounds like an excellent plan.”

*

The days grew longer, and warmer as midsummer—and the wedding—grew closer. Syn had taken on a handful of her normal queenly duties, meeting with the guild leaders and nobles who liked her better than her brother. But most of her days were taken up with the wedding planning. They hammered out the seating chart and all the flower and decorations. Occasionally Boe would decide he had an opinion about something and she and Colm would carefully steer him away before Hilde killed him.

They still had more than a week, when the very first guests arrived.

"Would you like to come greet my parents when they arrive," she asked Loki over breakfast that morning.

She could see the confusion move over his face. “I don’t understand. . . are urns being delivered?”

That had been rather out of context, she realized. "My foster parents. The people that raised us after our parents died. Mum and Da are coming in today.”

Loki grinned. “I was thinking of asking to see where you grew up, but I didn’t know if that would upset you.”

The request surprised her, but she shook her head. "It wouldn't upset me, though I think it would bore you. It's just a small farming village. Near a lake.”

“That sounds very peaceful,” he replied. “And, also, yes, boring.”

"We can start with meeting Mum and Da, then talk about a visit home after the wedding. Actually, we could go in the autumn. It's beautiful and the Harvest Fest is the closest thing to interesting Lakefire manages.”

Loki nodded. “Then that’s what we shall do.”

She smiled, both at the agreement and his willingness to plan for something a season away. They hadn't talked about long term plans, or anything much beyond the wedding. She was grateful he seemed willing to stay on Alfheim.

Her parents arrived just before luncheon, with little fanfare. Da had driven his battered old farm cart right up to the palace gates, as always. The porter announced them with all the solemnity of visiting dignitaries and Syn and Loki went down to the main hall to meet them.

Da was a big bear of the man, with dark hair and beard threaded with sliver and a slowly softening middle. He looked more Asgardian than Alfan, till he opened his mouth and revealed his thick country brogue. His laugh echoed off the ceiling and he crushed the air out of her lungs when he hugged her.

Mum was a handspan shorter than Syn, rosy cheeked and plump. Her auburn hair was fading into something like ashy blonde and she smelled of lavender and cedar. She kissed both Syn's cheeks when she hugged her.

She hadn't seen them since right after everyone had returned from the Ash. She and Boe had gone out to Lakefire to check in and see if the town needed anything. She'd sent them messages from her travels, but she hadn't realized how much she'd missed them till she was hugging them again.

"Mum, Da," she said. "This is Loki, of Asgard. My Consort." Surprise flickered over Loki's features and she made a mental note to explain the Consort thing. "Loki, this is Piran and Alys, of Lakefire. My parents.”

Loki bowed his head. “I am very honored to make your acquaintance.”

There was a moment of silence, then Mum twittered a laugh and bustled forward to hug him. "How lovely to see you!”

He startled, but he patted her back as he returned the hug. He shook hands with Da, and then Mum asked, “Where are the boys?”

"Boe is in a council meeting and Colm is finishing morning training with the guard, they'll be joining us for lunch. Would you like to see your rooms in the meantime?”

“That would be lovely, thank you.”

Da turned, presumably to head back and get their bags and Syn caught his arm, tucking hers through it to steer him towards the western hallway. "The servants will get your things, Da," she reminded him.

He scoffed. "Foolish. I can carry a few satchels myself."

Mum shook her head. "There are two trunks and your back had been bothering you."

Syn turned and gave him a pointed look. "Oh, has it?”

“It’s just age.” He patted her arm. “Happens to us all.”

"Will you let me take a look later? Or do I have to sneak heal you?”

He sighed, “Oh, very well. I’d hate to give you a headache.”

"Magnanimous of you."

"Having children who can't lie," Mum told Loki conspiratorially. "Is just dream. Speaking of children-"

"Mum!" Syn said, feeling her cheeks heat. "You just met. And Boe's the one getting married, pester him for grandchildren."

"Psh. His'll be heirs to the throne, surrounded by tutors and nannies. Yours I'll be able to spoil properly.”

“This one,” Da said, gesturing at Loki, “Looks far more likely to put up with a coddled upbringing surrounded by staff than Colm would.”

Well that was certainly true. "Yes, I don't know why you think my children wouldn't have nannies. Also, there are no babies happening anytime soon.”

“Accidents happen,” Mum said with a shrug.

“Probably not to the other two,” Da replied.

She could see Loki trying desperately not to laugh.

"Oh look your rooms," she said firmly, pushing the door open. "Bedroom, lavatory, and sitting room. You have two servants assigned to you. Please call for them if you need anything. Do not go wandering around the palace trying to get things for yourself."

Mum wrung her hands. "It just seems silly to make such a fuss for tea."

"Mum, you are the king's mother. You do not get your own tea. I have a request straight from the head chef to keep you out of the kitchen." She pointed at Da. "And that goes for you and the workshop and the stables. And I swear to all the spirits if I find you weeding the gardens-“

He held up his hands. “I will be good.”

"Good." She kissed his cheek. "Get settled. Lunch is in half an hour.”

It was nice out, so they had lunch out in the gardens. Mum and Da made the same amount of fuss over Boe and Colm. “Syn told me to ask you about grandchildren,” Mum said as they sat.

They gave her wounded looks and she shrugged. "If I have to suffer, so do you."

"Children are a complicated topic that doesn't need to be settled right now," Boe said diplomatically.

“Anyone want to talk about the reception seating charts instead,” Colm deadpanned.

"When will your father be arriving, dear?" Mum asked.

"He wasn't invited," Colm replied, sipping whatever was in his cup. Syn was going to bet ale.

"Oh," Mum said quietly.

"Good for you," Da rumbled, lifting his cup in a toast. 

Colm returned the toast. Then Loki raised his glass and said, “I too will drink to fathers who are assholes.”

There was a slight pause, but Colm smiled a bit and inclined his head.

Mum, who didn't like to say a bad word about anyone, not even an ass like Colm's father, turned to Syn and started asking about the guest list and planning. Which fortunately, she could discuss till the sun burnt out.

Across from them Boe was muttering something about putting someone in jail—probably Colm’s father. Then he leaned forward and got involved in the conversation that had become about table favors. He and Hilde were apparently in disagreement about the number of chocolates.

It was so airily domestic and normal. Scenes like this still struck Syn sometimes, because they were such a sharp contrast to the miserable 5 years in the middle. She met Colm’s eyes and she could almost see him thinking the same thing. He raised his glass a little again, before taking another drink. He had his arm over the back of the bench they were sitting on, one of Boe’s head full of curls wrapped around his pinkie. 

She remembered sitting across from them like this in a dim tavern in Lakefire many years ago, discussing starting a bloody revolution and everything that entailed. Syn went to get a drink, and looking back at the table was struck by that same small, absent gesture. She’d realized something she hadn’t known about her brother, she’d understood why this man was willing to commit treason to help them, and she’d hoped that someday after it was all over—if she survived—she’d have intimacy like that.

Loki was idly wrapping a lock of her hair around his fingers while he talked to Da about gardening.

She had not, when she'd first realized he wasn't her Loki - the Loki she'd known and loved - thought of him a second chance. He had seemed more like a strange punishment. A horrible reminder of what she'd lost. She had not expected to find healing in knowing him. In letting him in her walls and see the person five years of hell had made her.  
She had not, in her wildest dreams, expected to fall in love with him.

The realization settled on her like a warm blanket, soft and comforting and unexpected. She loved him. She would, if necessary, follow him around time and space. Or settle in her wing of the palace and teach him how good he could be at sharing rule. For the first time, in a very long time, she had a chance at a future that didn't fill her with grief and dread.

Back in their room that night, Loki said, “I want to go see my mother.”

She looked over her shoulder at him, in the middle of plaiting her hair for sleep. "Was it the nagging for grand babies or the lengthy discussion of how deep to plant pea shoots that convinced you?”

“I feel like they’re just going to be generally disappointed on the grandchildren front.” He paused. “Though I suppose there must be some sort of heir.”

"Boe and Colm have had many ideas on how to procure one." Most involved her, but that wasn't worth bringing up. "As he says, they have time to sort it out.”

“Do you want them? Children?”

She was pretty sure she was required to, seeing as how Boe's chances were pretty slim. But that wasn't what he was asking. "I always did. Then for a long time I thought I wouldn't have the chance. Now. . . I think I would like to be a mother." She finished her braid and tossed it over her shoulder. "I know you don't think we can have them," she added, to save him finding the words.

He watched her. “The other me thought that?”

"He was fairly adamant about it. Refused to entertain the alternative." Discussions about children had been the closest they'd come to proper, door slamming fights.

She stood and joined him on the bed, sighing. "My believe I wouldn't have children did not begin with the Ash.”

“I mean. . . it’s probably biologically impossible.”

Oh, that was an awful kind of deja vu. "I know. I know. No recorded children between Jotun and Aesir. Alfans, Vanir, and Asgardians are similar enough but Jotun are a different matter. I'm hardly the first woman you've been with and there's never even been any suspicion of an accident. I hate to rob you of the opportunity, but I haven't the energy to have this conversation again. Please.”

Loki held up his hands. “I yield.”

"Sorry," she said, rubbing his leg idly. "It was a subject he was his most condescending on. Not a pleasant memory.”

“I didn’t mean to get into that, and we can table the discussion. But I would like to see my mother. And I would like you to come.”

That surprised her, and was a welcome change of topic. "I'd love to meet your mother.”

“The hitch is. . . the time device is really hard to aim. I can go to a precise time it’s recorded already, so we can get back, but finding a timeline to visit will be a bit trial and error.

"So it might take a while to find one. But we could be back here having had essentially no time pass?”

“Exactly. We could be gone weeks, and a minute will have passed here.”

She nodded. "I would like to tell my brother what we're doing. Just in case something goes wrong. But I don't mind squeezing in a little adventure before the wedding.”

He leaned over to kiss her. “Thank you.”

Returning the kiss, she smothered the desire to tell him she loved him. It was going to come spelling out soon, but for now she could keep it to herself. Perhaps the right time would present itself before her curse forced her hand.

Boe fussed, but knew better than to forbid her to do something. Loki explained they would go to Alfheim in a different timeline, and then use the Tesseract to travel to Asgard, once they ascertained Asgard still existed.

Never a dull moment with this man.

They found a clear spot in the back of the festival grounds Syn felt likely to remain clear no matter what. Loki reached for her hand. “Ready?”

"As ready as I can be." Having never traveled through time, there was only so much she could promise. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Let's go.”

He hit the button on his device, and a strange shell formed around them. There was a sense of motion, and then the shell receded. In front of them, the land was desolate, without a sign of vegetation. In the distance, you could see the ruins of the castle. Loki groaned. “Not this one again.”

Syn's stomach had lurched at the look of the land, but she managed to distract herself with his comment. "You've been here before?”

He nodded. “It’s possible that this is a different timeline and an asteroid hit Alfheim, but I know there is one where Hela won or Thanos won and everywhere is like this. Maybe there are a lot of them and that’s why they pop up regularly. This is why I don’t want to jump time from Asgard, half the time I end up floating in space.” He hit the button again, and the shell returned. “No point in staying.” 

She tucked herself into his side and, apparently noticing her distress, he put an arm around her as the sense of movement began again.

This time when the shell retreated the field before them was teaming with people. She could see various games and craft booths and a large stack of wood in the center. "Oh!" she said brightly. "This is the summer festival.”

“Well,” Loki said. “Let’s see if we can find out if Asgard still stands before I try popping us over there.

People smiled and waved at them, which probably meant there was a version of her, or them, in this timeline.

A dark-haired little boy came bolting out of the crowd and nearly crashed into them. He stopped, and looked up at them. There was something familiar about his face, but she couldn’t place it.

“Mama!” He yelled. “I found them!”

“Hello,” Loki said to the boy, frowning a little. The child clearly also thought they were some other versions of themselves. Syn hadn’t really thought about how they would handle this.

The crowd moved out of the way for a woman. It took a moment to recognize her, but Syn realized it was the woman Thor had left in charge of Asgard. The had a chubby baby on her hip, with pale skin and a shock of bright blue hair. “There you are. I’m sorry, she’s been whining and yanking at my bodice for twenty minutes. I tried to explain how many years the dairy has been closed, but. . .” She shrugged and held the baby out to Syn, who was too surprised to do anything but take it. “Only the two of you would change clothes in the middle of a festival.”

Syn opened and closed her mouth, but no excuse came to her. The baby was whining and butting her chest, which was even less likely to produce milk than the woman in front of her. "Shh," she said, bouncing the baby - her baby - hoping to soothe it with a familiar voice.

“Could we possibly go somewhere more private we could all talk?” Loki asked.

The woman—Valkyrie, her name was—gave them an odd look, then nodded. She patted the boy on the back. “Magni, go find Papa, tell him to come up to the dais.” Then she inclined her head and started walking back towards the castle.

Syn gave Loki a look, as this seemed likely to increase their chances for running into themselves - which seemed bad - but he gestured for her to come and she followed, still carrying the baby.

Thor emerged from the crowd as they got close to the little stage lined with several chairs. He was tall and handsome, with none of the extra weight or scruff from their timeline. He wore an eyepatch over one eye and grinned at them as if they were all in on a secret together.

“I don’t know if this is a concern, but apparently Raine figured out how to duplicate herself to cheat at tag.” He pointed at Loki. “I still fall for it.”

Loki was starting to look as stunned as she felt. Which only got worse when a little girl flung herself out of the crowd and wrapped herself around his waist. "It wasn't cheating! You said using my natural talents for magic wasn't cheating!”

He looked at the girl, then at the blue-haired baby, then at Syn. There was no denying what was patently obvious. These were _their_ children. Loki cleared his throat and said, “If it were cheating you’d have a headache.”

The little girl looked up and beamed at him. Then her eyes narrowed and she slowly let him go, taking a step back. "You're not Papa.”

There was a tense moment, then Heimdal appeared beside them. “I believe we should go speak in private.” He herded them to the somewhat secluded dais. “This is still your Papa,” Heimdal said to Raine. “He’s just from an. . . alternate universe.”

Thor, Valkyrie, and Raine all stared, first at him, then at Syn and Loki. "I'm sorry." Syn said finally. "I'm afraid we didn't think about what would happen if we ran into people we knew. We don't mean any harm.”

“What are you doing here?” Heimdal asked.

“We were hoping to visit Asgard.” He glanced at Thor. “And see Mother.” He looked back at Heimdal. “If you are here, I expect it no longer stands.”

“That is correct. It was destroyed to stop Hela. Your mother died a number of years ago.”

“Dark elves?” Loki asked, and Heimdal nodded. 

“We brought the remnants of Asgard here,” Thor said. “Loki was friends with the Queen.”

"Clearly," Syn said, bouncing the baby on her hip.

“You have four daughters,” Valkyrie said. 

She looked up and Loki, reaching over to squeeze his arm briefly. "That does answer a question I've had for a long time.”

“We have a friend of our who is a scientist who can explain the genetics in more detail that I promise you could ever want,” Thor said.

"I think we'll pass," Loki said, not unkindly. "We should be on our way."

"We're sorry to have frightened you." Syn told Raine. "But it was very nice to meet you.”

Valkyrie took the baby back from her, and said, “We wish you luck in finding the right universe.”

She had an urge to ask more questions, just to find out what else was different in this version of their lives. Clearly she and Loki had children, but she was also outright Queen, which meant Boe was gone. Or had never existed? She didn’t know where all these timeline branches forked. Maybe she was an only child.

They bounced through a few different universes, thankfully not dropping into the middle of any more festivals. Loki put a glamour on and grabbed some random person to ask questions. 

Alternate Universes certainly were _altered_.

If they landed on an Alfheim that was healthy and prosperous, she was almost universally it’s Queen, though there was a fascinating universe where there had never been a Steward, Boe and Colm were running Alfheim, and she was living on Jotunheim with Loki, who was its King. The majority of the time, she was alone as Boe had not survived the revolution. There was one universe where, for reasons that were not clear to the random passerby they asked, he’d been evil and Syn herself had killed him.

“This is a weird universe,” Loki muttered. “Did we really name our kid Hela?”

She shrugged. "Odin wiped her from history. Before she reappeared it was an old-fashioned, but acceptable name.”

After that, they visited another destroyed world, though this one had vegetation. The one after that, Alfheim had a completely different royal family. The one after _that_ , Colm was the Steward, Asgard stood and Syn was in its prisons.

She had to convince Loki that, no, they did not need to take the Tesseract and go break her out.

The one after that, all the dice seemed to have come up just right. She could tell by Loki’s face when he walked back to her after asking his questions. “Asgard stands. My mother is alive and well upon it.”

"Any word on where you and Thor are?" she asked. It wasn't vital, but running into himself on Asgard would be awkward.

“Thor is on Asgard. According to the gentleman I spoke to he has a wife and children and is apparently King, thought I don’t know if that’s because Odin is dead or just retired. You and I are on Vanaheim with our family for some manner of diplomatic negotiations relating to an affair your brother had with one of their nobles’s wife.”

Her brows went up. "Remind me to tell Boe about that one. He'll laugh himself sick.”

“Oh, it’s not him. Apparently there’s a younger brother. Though our new friend’s wife or mother—it was hard to tell—interjected to lament how Boe needs to find a wife before he takes the throne, which he probably will laugh at. ‘He’s such a handsome young man’. And before you ask, no, I did not out him to the random peasants.”

"I appreciate that. I have a younger brother?" He nodded and she crossed her arms, considering that. "Huh. I'm not sure how to feel about that." She turned suddenly. "Wait. Boe's not on the throne. My parents are alive?”

“He said the king is someone named Hoenir.”

She covered her mouth with her hand, looking past him at the palace. "That's my father.”

Loki turned as well. “Would you like to go in and say hello?”

"I don't. . . I don't know if I can. Without crying.”

“This is a realm of magic. Thor said my mother knew as soon as she saw him that he was from somewhere else. We’ll tell them the truth and you can cry all you want.”

Her parents. . . "I'd like to see them again," she said quietly.

“Then see them you shall,” he said, reaching out for her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. Yes they are on a tour through all of our Syn and Loki stories.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently it's May now. Has anyone tried turning 2020 off and back on again?

In a flash, they were in one of the palace hallways.

The architecture was the same, but the design and decorations were far different. They made their way to what she hoped would be her father's den, passing several family portraits, including one of her and Loki with several children and one of the parents with three children. She recognized her and Boe as children, but the toddler on her mother's lap must have been the mysterious third child.

At her father's door, she swallowed hard and knocked.

“Come in,” called a voice she hadn’t heard since she was a child. 

She opened the door. The office was more cluttered but otherwise just as she remembered. There was the big desk, and two guest chairs in front. She remembered being scolded while sitting in those chairs. Right now Colm was sitting in one of them, and there her father was behind it.

Her memory of him was so dim and tinted with the lens of childhood, he seemed both familiar and different. He was shorter than she remembered, his curls now iron instead of the muddy brown of her hair. His jowls had grown with age, as had his belly. But his eyes were the same, crystal blue and kind, surrounded by crow's feet when he looked up to smile at her. "Syn. Back so soon?"

She shook her head, tears welling up in her eyes. "Hi, Papa.”

He stood. “What’s wrong?”

“What did you do?” Colm asked Loki.

“It’s nice to know you hate me in every timeline,” Loki replied.

Her father came around the desk to hug her and she wrapped her arms around him, burying her face in his shoulder. He smelled of pipe smoke and mint, and for the life of her she couldn't remember if he always had.

"You're not my Syn are you?" he asked quietly, rocking her and stroking her hair. She shook her head and he sighed, resting his head on hers. "How long have I been gone, for you?"

"A very long time," she managed to whisper.

“I’m so sorry, my darling,” he told her.

He held her until she'd managed to calm and lean back, then he dug in his jacket and handed her a clean hankie. "Thank you," she mumbled, wiping her face. "I'm sorry. We were actually looking for somewhere Loki could say goodbye, but we found out you were here and I just. . . wanted to see you again.”

“Is there anyone else you lost you want to see? Your mother? Your brothers?”

"Mama," she confirmed. "Boe is alive and well. We rule together. And where I'm from, he's my only brother.”

“From his age I think you died before he could be born,” Loki said. “The younger one.”

“Tig,” Papa said. “I called your mother, she’s on her way. You said you and Boe rule together? So you are a Queen?”

She nodded. "We have different strengths, we discovered it was best for the realm to split duties." It was the simplest explanation, while still being true. And not getting into the temporary apocalypse thing.

“That’s good. You’ll probably be Queen here, too, if that boy doesn’t find himself a wife.” He made a little hmphing noise.

Syn gave Colm a sidelong glance and found him deliberately not looking at them. That was very interesting.

The office door opened, and there was Mama.

She didn't know what her father had told her, but she didn't look concerned when she entered. When she saw Syn, she smiled and opened her arms to her. The tears spilled over again when she lurched into her and wrapped her arms around her. 

“There, there,” she murmured. “Welcome home.”

"It's so good to see you," Syn whispered.

“Where did you come from?”

“Perhaps I should explain,” Loki said, and gave an explanation of his time travel device and why they were hopping around.

"We should really go up to Asgard," Syn said, stepping away from her mother to wipe her eyes again. "Before I continue to embarrass myself.”

“I hope you have found some happiness,” Mama said. “Where you are from.”

"I have," she told her. "It was a long road. But I managed. Boe is too. We miss you both, but we grew up well.”

Mama’s gaze shifted towards Papa, just briefly, then back at Syn. “Your brother is happy, too?”

"He is," she said carefully, hoping she wasn't about to out her poor alternate brother.

“I imagine one has a bit more freedom on their own throne.”

Oh, good, Mama knew. "Yes, he does. And the people love and support him. Very much.”

She smiled widely, and then hugged Syn again. “Good.”

She squeezed her tight and whispered, "He's going to need a really big nudge to get on with it.”

Mama nodded. Syn hugged her again, and then Papa. Loki shook their hands. “It’s an honor to meet you both,” he said.

"Take good care of her," Papa said, in a tone that indicated he would cross universes to ensure it.

“I promise,” he said, and Syn knew he could no more lie holding his father’s hand than hers.

She stepped back to his side and took one last look at them before Loki whisked them away. 

*

The Tesseract took them to Asgard, which seemed as it ever was. They materialized in an out of the way hall in the palace, which Loki thought would be the most discreet. 

He was unaccountably nervous.

Syn gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Where should we look first?" she asked, voice pitched low to not attract attention. "Her parlor? The garden?”

“The garden,” he said. “It’s a nice day.”

He held onto Syn’s hand as they made their way to the garden. He could see her sitting out there, with a woman it took him a minute to recognize as that woman from Midgard his brother had been obsessed with. He hadn’t recognized Thor’s wife they’d met in that one universe, but he knew this one. How his brother had managed to pull that situation off, he had no idea.

"You know her?" Syn asked softly.

He nodded. "Midgardian my brother was involved with. Years ago. Part of the mess with the Jotuns."

She nodded. "Are we waiting for her to go away before we venture forth?”

“I’m just trying to figure out what is going on.” And stalling. He was also doing that. "I was told my brother had children, I assumed his wife had to be Asgardian.” 

Syn frowned. "That is strange. Humans _definitely_ can't have children with Aesir." She gave him a little nudge. "Maybe you should go ask.”

“Right,” he said, taking a deep breath and striding out into the garden.

His mother spotted him immediately and smiled. It slowly changed, fading. She touched the human's shoulder. "Jane, would you mind finishing this later?”

Jane looked at Loki and Syn. “Ah. Went that bad on Vanaheim, huh?” She stood up. “I’ll go see if the boys are up from their naps.” She reached out to squeeze Syn’s arm as she passed. “Don’t worry, Thor won’t let them put Tig in jail. Even if he has to go ask for him back with Moljnir.”

Syn offered her a genuine smile. "Thank you." Jane nodded and walked back into the palace.

Mother gestured at the bench across from her. "Please sit.”

He sat slowly. “Hello, mother.”

She studied them. He noticed she paid particular attention to Syn's bare arm. Then she met his gaze. "You're far from home. What brings you here?”

“I came because I wanted to see you.”

Another moment studying him. "Have things gone poorly for you?”

“I thought so once,” he said, then he looked over at Syn. “Not anymore.”

She smiled brilliantly at him, and when he looked back his mother was giving him a very similar look. "Good. I'm happy for you."

"I knew another Loki," Syn offered. "You and he had a falling out and he regretted the last thing he said to you." She gestured at Loki. "I suggested that he come see you. So he didn't have the same regrets.”

“And I wanted Syn to meet you.”

"Have I been gone for some time?"

"Almost ten years," Syn told her. "It seems our time went very different to this one.”

“Many of them seem to have,” Loki said. “You live in a rather blessed timeline.”

She laughed a little, glancing back at the palace. "I've often thought so. It's nice to have it confirmed. My boys married and happy. Grandchildren running around the halls. It's good to stand back and appreciate it.”

Loki wondered what misery he might spare this place where his family got to live their lives out in peace. “Mother, do you know about Hela?”

“Your sister? Yes.”

“You have to tell them. Loki and Thor. Let them deal with her from a position of strength, or she will cause Ragnarok. More awful things apparently follow that.”

Mother shook her head. “Hela’s dead.” 

"Are you sure?" Syn asked. "In our time Odin merely locked her away.”

“Entirely, I remember the funeral. After Odin and I married, he wanted children and I wouldn’t agree until he stopped with the conquering. He worked out some manner of protection racket with all the realm leaders, so he could still control them without there being endless wars.” She looked at Syn. “When your grandfather died and your father assumed the throne, it didn’t sit well with him and he informed Odin he would take no more orders. Hela and Odin had some sort of argument right around that time which caused him to confiscate Mjolnir. She insisted she could rein in Alfheim without it, marched through the Bifrost and came back in a box.”

Syn stared at her, then looked at Loki, clearly shocked. "As long as we're warning you. . . there's a Titan, named Thanos. He will try to collect the Infinity Stones-"

"He already has," Mother interrupted. "You stopped him."

"I did?"

"Yes. At great personal risk. You wore the gauntlet and destroyed him and his forces.”

“She wore the gauntlet?” Loki asked. He didn’t think Alfans were strong enough to handle that. He wasn’t even sure Asgardians were.

"Very briefly.” Clearly reading the questions on his face, Mother added, "The two of you have a unique relationship, here. Years ago, you were forced to perform a ceremony that allows you to share your power. I believe that's why Syn was able to withstand the power of the glove.”

That was interesting. “Is that why you keep looking at her hand?”

"Yes. There's a rune." She reached over and touched the inside of Syn's forearm. "Branded right there. On both their arms. The mark of their bond.”

“I didn’t even know something like that was possible.”

Mother smiled. "It's a very old ritual, one you found in a book long before they needed it. No one had attempted it successfully in my memory. It was the sort of thing most people wouldn't even attempt except as a last resort. It ties you to the other person of a very. . . intimate level. For life." Her smile turned sly. "They don't seem to mind.”

He found himself looking at Syn. “No, I don’t imagine they do.”

She smiled, touching his hand lightly. "It doesn't sound so bad.”

They talked with his mother for a long while, but eventually they had to go. It was so nice to hug his mother goodbye.

"I wish you both happiness," she said, hugging Syn as well. "You've earned your peace. Enjoy it.”

“I'm not so sure about that part,” Loki said. “But thank you.”

Mother kissed his cheek and stepped back, folding her hands in front of her. "Farewell, Loki. I do love you.”

He felt a lump in his throat. “I love you, too,” he said, and then he hit the button on the time device to return home.

Alfheim looked as they'd left it, a bright summer day. Syn tucked herself into his side and for a moment they just stood together, processing what they'd just seen and heard.

“I know it’s the middle of the day, but I’m exhausted,” he murmured into her hair. “Fancy a nap?”

"That sounds wonderful. I think we've been awake a very long time.”

They collapsed into her bed, and were asleep before either of them could even think about fooling around. They were woken some hours later by knocking on the door.

"Who is it?" Syn called, barely lifting her head.

“Boe,” he called back. “I’m looking for Loki.”

Loki groaned. “I’m here, we’re dressed, just come in.” That way he could keep his eyes closed a little longer.

The door opened and he heard Boe step inside. "Back from your adventure, then?”

“We visited many timelines,” Loki said. “In many of them, you were dead. One of ‘em Syn killed you.”

A pause. "Well, I'm sure I deserved it." Boe's good nature occasionally rivaled Thor's. "I'm here to invite you to my stag night.”

Loki sighed. “I know you Alfans love your hunting, but I really don’t.”

Boe snorted and he heard Syn chuckle. "It's our word for a man going out drinking with his friends before getting married."

"Supposedly a celebration of his last night of freedom," Boe added. "Though only an idiot does it the night before the wedding.”

Loki really wasn’t much of a barfly, that was really more Thor’s kind of activity. But he knew an olive branch when he saw one. “I will be happy to attend your pre-wedding festivities.”

"Wonderful. It's tomorrow night. Syn, can you get him some appropriate clothes?"

She lifted a hand and waved it dismissively. "I'll handle it.”

Loki made a face. “What is wrong with my clothes?”

"You look like royalty," Boe told him. "That's not the kind of bar we're going to.”

Now Loki regretted agreeing to this. He regretted it even more when he put on the outfit Syn wanted him to wear the next evening. He looked like a peasant.

"Look," she said. "Boe and Colm grew up going to rough taverns with the other farm boys. They like to relive it when they have their free time. Drink some ale, cheat at darts and come home and join me in bed." She kissed his cheek. "I won't even ask you to have fun.”

He kissed her temple. “Yes, dear heart.” Syn startled a little, and he asked, “What?”

"Deja vu," she told him, fussing the collar of his rough hewn shirt. "It's been a long time since i heard you call me that.”

“Do you want me to stop?”

She thought a moment, then smiled. "No. I like it. I've missed it.”

“In that case, I will see you tonight.”

The tavern was not Loki’s kind of place. But the ale was free, and it was pretty good. “Can I ask you a question?” Loki asked Boe, several pitchers of said ale in. “Why did Syn introduce me to your foster parents as her consort?”

"It's a title," Colm answered for him. "Like King or General."

"I believe it started as a way to legitimize the mistress of some ancestor or another," Boe continued. "Over time it's been used to describe the significant other of royalty that is serious enough they might take on certain duties to aid said royal." He nodded at Colm. "Had he not already been Captain and General, he'd have been my Consort.”

Loki supposed that made sense. “You know, there was one timeline we saw in our little hop where you were the Steward.” He gestured at Colm.

"That sounds like a terrible timeline, I hate it already.”

“It was, Syn was in an Asgardian prison,” Loki replied.

“There was also the one where Syn killed me,” Boe said. “That probably wasn’t a nice timeline.”

“I heard about that one,” Colm said. “He was evil?”

“That’s what I was told. If I recall, the conquest happened, Syn was taken to Asgard—Odin really had a problem back then with kidnapping children of his slain enemies—Boe grew up out in the countryside, had the revolution and tried to kill Syn in the process. She killed him, and took the throne. The peasant I talked to described you as a cold and angry man”

Boe snorted. “That sounds very out of character.”

“No,” Colm said quietly. “I can see it.”

Boe turned to look at him. "Really?"

He nodded slowly. "You were an angry kid, especially when you first came to Lakefire. You don't remember that? Your da gave you an axe and sent you out to the woodpile just so you'd expend some energy.

He seemed to consider that a moment. "You think in that timeline I never got over it?"

"I think you didn't have your sister to steady you. So it ate at you."

Resentment could be toxic. Loki knew that. And the longer you marinated in it, the worse you felt. “We visited a timeline where Syn and I met young,” he said. “She stopped me from making a mistake that altered the course of my life. The mistake that made me the worst version of myself. It was unforgivable, but it was born of a very deep and very justified anger and resentment. Instead, she talked me off the ledge. I didn’t do it. And I was clearly a different and better person for that. A happier one.”

"After the Ash," Colm said quietly. "I was not in a good place. It seemed like we'd only just gotten rid of the Steward and started our lives then then. . . I wanted nothing more than to drink myself into oblivion. But every morning, there she was." He knocked rapidly on the table as if banging on a door. "'Wake up, there's things to do. Wake up, I made Mum's honey cake, come tell me what's wrong with it.' Girl kept me sober and upright through sheer stubbornness and force of personality.”

Loki smiled. “She is a remarkable woman. I’m certain I don’t deserve her, but. . .” he shook his head. “Timeline after timeline, there we were.” He swallowed, and there was a lump in his throat. “In many of them we had children.”

"I'm sure that was a relief for any mes alive in those," Boe said.

“Well. Usually you were dead.” Loki tilted his head. “If you were alive, Colm was always there. One of those it sounded like you had children of your own.”

He looked over at Colm. "See? I told you there were options.”

Colm waved a hand. “This is a conversation for sober people.”

"Always an excuse. I'm perfectly so-" He winced and put a hand to his head. "Ow. Okay, apparently I'm not sober.”

Colm laughed, and looked at Loki. “The truth curse is terrible and delightful at the same time.”

“If I’m drunk, I’m going to be drunk,” Boe said, and leaned back in his chair. “We’d like some brandy over here!”

Loki didn’t know if it was from his Jotun blood or the glamour that controlled his appearance without his input, or some combination of the two, but it took a great deal to get Loki drunk. Colm was clearly a careful and measured drinker, a cultivated habit of someone who was cognizant of his limits.

Boe had neither of these limits, and so was eventually abjectly piss drunk. So drunk that it became prudent for him to go back to the castle before he had to be carried. He was adamant that Colm stay. “You never have your own fun. And your own fun is fun.” Boe pointed unsteadily at the bottle. “You drink a little more, and I’m going to take a nap, and then you come home and entertain me.”

“I think all I’m going to do for you is hold a bucket,” Colm replied, waving for a couple of his guards.

“What if I puke only a little bit?” He held his hands about a foot apart.

Colm’s sigh was somewhere between exasperated and amused. He produced a hair tie from somewhere in his pockets, and leaned over to tie half of Boe’s hair back. “Then you can hold the bucket yourself.”

“I love you. Have I told you that?”

“Yeah, once or twice.”

"I do, I really do." The guards flanked him, propping him up to walk him out of the tavern.

"Let your sister take a look at you before you pass out!" Colm called after them.

“I hate the truth curse,” Loki said. “But I am somewhat of a compulsive liar. I don’t think we could work without it.”

"You get used to it," Colm offered. "How to work around it. The two of them are masters as loopholes.”

“I believe it. We visited a timeline where their parents were still alive, and you and the young prince seemed to be conducting an affair of some sort under the nose of truth-cursed king.”

Colm tilted his head. "Well, good for them.”

“The entire trip was an interesting experience.”

“Must be a mind fuck. Coming face to face with all your might have beens.”

Loki thought about Syn standing there with the blue-haired baby on her hip. “You have no idea.”

"Hmm." Colm had a wide variety of noises that Loki hadn't even begun to catalog. He thought that one was agreement, but it might have also been dismissal or skepticism. Perhaps Boe had some sort of cheat sheet he could borrow.

Before he could strike upon a new topic of conversation, Colm pulled a dagger out of his belt, whipped his hand out and was holding it to the throat of a man who was quite suddenly standing behind Loki.

"Do not. Lay. A hand. On him.”

The man held up his hands and stepped back. There was a sudden pop of light and three more identically dressed men appeared behind him. Loki recognized those uniforms. It was the TVA. Dread slid up his spine. They had shields seemingly impervious to his magic, and if he transported they’d only follow.

“We are from the Time Variance Authority, and we are here for the arrest of Prince Loki of Asgard.”

Colm gave him a sideways look, and said, ”I'm Colm, Captain of the Royal Guard and General to the Alfheim army. What are the charges?”

“Severe timeline alteration, repeated unauthorized visits to multiple timelines and the spawning of additional timelines, living in a timeline not his, escape from detention, theft of a time device, and perjury.”

He swore Colm's mouth twitched a little at that last one. "Well," he said, drawing the word out, voice slipping into the brogue Syn's Da used. "I'm afraid I've taken a liking to the little sneak. So you won't be taking him anywhere."

The TVA agents glanced at each other, clearly not expecting any sort of resistance. "That's all well and good but by the authority of the TVA I must-"

"Ac'tully," Colm interrupted. "Alfheim is an independent sovereign realm, with treaties with all the major intergalactic authorities, including the TVA. As such, any fugitive on Alfan soil cannot be extradited without permission from the royal family or, in their absence, one imbued with their authority. So, as the Captain of the Royal Guard and General of the Army, I say, sod off.”

“At the moment, I do not see an army,” one of the other agents replied, and Loki absolutely could not contain a smirk. Colm merely cleared his throat, and every man in the tavern was on his feet, with every manner of concealable weaponry pointed at the TVA.

Loki watched the agents exchange looks among themselves. They were very outnumbered, but they had very advanced weaponry, and half the Royal Guard was probably drunk. It would be a bloodbath either way. 

Loki wondered when he’d started caring about the safety of others. What he needed now was a stall. A way to de-escalate this long enough for him to run. He needed to be able to at least tell Syn goodbye. 

The tension in the air was palpable. Colm seemed a man with a lot of patience, but who knew about the ale-filled soldiers behind him.

“If Alfheim is invoking intergalactic treaties and offering asylum,” the first agent said with extreme officiousness, “I will need to speak to an actual member of the royal family.”

Loki did not want these people in the palace. He didn’t want them within shouting distance of Syn, under any circumstances. “He’s the King’s Consort,” Loki said. “Look it up, it’s a real thing here.”

Colm looked at him, then smirked a little. "That's right, I am. And he's the Queen's Consort. Which, by Alfan law, makes him part of the royal court as well. Which means, legally speaking, you can't fucking touch him.”

“I shall have to speak with my supervisor,” the agent snapped. He glared at Loki, then gestured to the other agents, who all pulled out their time devices.

Satisfied he’d won, Colm sat back down and picked up his ale. “Come back two days hence if you want. I’ll be the King’s husband by noon; we’ll feed you some cake and you can meet the rest of the army.” 

It was casual, dismissive, and an unmistakable threat. Loki liked this man’s style. He might actually miss him.

The agents disappeared and Colm sipped his ale. "That was fun. Boe'll be sad he missed that.”

“That was quite the defense for someone you don’t like,” Loki said.

"Never said I didn't like you. I was just cautious." He put his mug down. "I was there, when Syn came back from finding out you were dead. I've never seen her like that. She was walking and talking and doing all the things she needed to do. But she was like an empty shell. The light was out of her eyes. For a while, I thought I'd lose her to her grief. When I heard she'd found some other version of you." He shook his head. "I don't know if she'd survive losing you again.”

Loki looked down. “I can’t possibly stay. I can’t put her and this realm in that kind of danger.”

Colm looked over at him. "Speaking as a general, pretty stupid strategy to leave the realm where the whole royal family has your back.”

That was so very tempting. “You don’t know what these people are capable of.”

"And you've never seen our army in action. In any case, i don't think they're coming back tonight. We could stagger home at our leisure.”

“Thank you,” Loki said. “Sincerely.”

"You're very welcome." He tilted his head and smirked at him. “Perjury?"

“They think I did something I didn’t—and there’s plenty I have done in my life, but it’s not any of the things on their list—and so my protestations of innocence were consider lying to law enforcement. Syn finds me getting charged with perjury for telling the truth utterly hilarious.”

"I have to agree. I promise, if I ever throw you in jail, it'll be for something you actually did.”

Loki laughed. “How about one more drink before we go?”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apocalyptic Log, Day 59?: Only two more weeks of school. Only two more weeks. 
> 
> One more chapter of this to go, will post next week. Then we should have some new stuff coming down the pipeline.

Syn had been just about to go to bed when her brother barged into her room, drunk as a badger, loudly proclaiming his love for Colm and solemnly vowing he didn't have to vomit. After steering him into the lavatory so he didn't vomit on her bed, she got him to his room, used a touch of healing to protect him from the worst of the hang over, and left him snoring peacefully.

Clearly, the boys had had a good time, though she was a little concerned that Colm and Loki weren't home yet. She hoped no hazing was involved.  
She gave them another twenty minutes, then went to bed, hoping the vague feeling of dread in her stomach was just herself being silly.

Loki was clearly trying to be quiet when he came in, but it woke her nonetheless. He looked in one piece.

"Mmm," she mumbled, rolling over onto her side to watch him. "Come to tup your lady proper like?”

“You are the most tempting thing I’ve ever seen.” He whispered, sitting on the bed beside her.

"And this isn't even my best nightgown," she teased.

He brushed her hair off her forehead. “You could be wearing a burlap sack.”

"Mmm, it would be itchy." She turned her head to kiss his hand. "Did you have a good time?”

“Yes,” he said. It wasn’t a lie, but there was a tremendous shadow over it. It was a half truth.

She frowned a little. "Was Colm nice to you?”

“He was. The TVA showed up to arrest me and he ran them off.”

That certainly woke her up. She pushed up on her elbow. "What? What happened? Are you all right?”

“Our jaunt the other day must have gotten their attention. It was probably a mistake to do. They showed up, told me they wanted to arrest me. Colm told them I was under royal protection by some treaty, they responded ‘you and what army?’, to the sounds of forty swords unsheathing.” She could see him smile, not a devious one but a soft one. He’d clearly been touched by everyone coming to his defense.

She sat up fully, rubbing his back gently. "Colm enjoys thwarting bureaucracy. And that was quick thinking, invoking asylum law.”

“I keep thinking maybe I shouldn’t stay. I’ll put you and everyone in danger. You shouldn’t start a war over me.”

The thought of saying goodbye to him made her stomach twist. It simply wasn't an option. "I'll come with you.”

He sighed. “I can see how happy you are to be home.”

"I will be far less happy without you. Trust me.”

He rubbed her arm. “That’s what Colm told me. And is apparently willing to back it up with the entire army.”

"Boe likes you, too. That makes it unanimous." She rested her forehead on his shoulder. "If you stayed, you'd have all of us and the army at your side. We can have you officially declared my Consort. You'd be a member of court. The TVA wouldn't dare touch you.”

He shifted so he could tuck her against his side and hold her closer. For a long time he was quiet. “We talked about that place we visited where Boe was evil. Colm had a theory that growing up without you is why he was like that.” 

It seemed like an abrupt shift in topic. She wasn't sure if she should be grateful for it or not. "He was very angry, when we were younger. I was more interested in solving the problem. I suppose left to his own devices I can see how he let the anger take over.”

“Then Colm told the story of how you kept him going after the Ash.”

"He just needed someone to prod him a bit. Being busy is the best distraction.”

“I think there is something about you that makes people the best versions of themselves. It certainly has for me.”

She smiled, breathing in his scent as he held her. "It's not intentional. I like a lot of the things about you you consider flaws.”

“The most selfish thing to do is to stay here in the castle walls. I’ve just realized my instinct to run isn’t to flee from danger so much as it is to hope they give chase and draw the danger away from you. I assure you, that is remarkable and not something I thought was in my nature.” 

Now that, she believed, even without the truth curse backing it up. "I knew it was. You have the capacity to be selfless, just never the motivation.”

“And now here I am.”

"Here you are." She shifted, straightening enough to look at him. "I want you to stay," she said softly. "I want to face whatever happens together.”

Loki sighed. “I suppose you can twist my arm into being selfish again, just this once.”

"I'm afraid I really must insist.”

He leaned in, touching his forehead to hers. “I will stay.”

"Thank you," she whispered, cupping his face in her hands. He kissed her, pulling her into his lap.

She sighed softly, wrapping her arms around him and sinking into the kiss. “Mmm,” he murmured. “About that tupping. . .”

Syn woke up very early on midsummer. Loki reached for her idly, but she kissed his cheek and smoothed his hair back and he let her go with a mumble.

Hilde already had breakfast and a check list for her and she spent the morning running around, greeting vendors and solving all the little emergencies that popped up prior to an event of this magnitude.

Midsummer was Alfheim’s biggest holiday, and largest festival. In the middle of all that, the King was getting married. She hadn’t seen any sign of her brother, and she hoped he was sleeping in and not up to some kind of trouble.

Loki found her when he got up. “How can I be of use?”

She sighed. "Can you go coordinate with Finn regarding the bonfire and maze construction?" She pointed the builder out to him.

“I absolutely will.” He kissed her temple and was off.

Syn watched him run off, smiling, then went to argue with the flower vendor about whether or not the lilies were drooping.

An hour before the wedding, the royal guests began to arrive and she grabbed Loki to go join the welcoming line. "You're my consort, you have to be there.”

He stopped dead. “I’m sorry, what?”

Him stopping yanked her to a halt, since there was no way she could move him. "What? Oh, right, the Jotuns." She scowled and looked around before spotting Hilde and waving her over. "We need an excuse for Loki not to be at the welcoming.”

“You need an excuse for that?”

"He's consort, he's supposed to be there. But he doesn't want to meet the Jotun regiment.”

“He could just cross his arms and say nothing.” She shrugged. “You could ask Colm, he hates touching people.” 

She looked back at Loki. "Will you come meet the first few and then go be antisocial with Colm? He always manages to disappear halfway through these.”

Loki sighed heavily. “No, no. This is my job and talking to people is what I’m good at. Someone find me some leather gloves, if they touch my skin the glamour peels back.”

"That I can manage," Hilde said, hustling off.

Syn rubbed Loki's arm gently. "Thank you. If you change your mind, give me a signal and I'll find something for you to fetch me.”

“If I’m going to stay, I’m going to do it properly.”

The determination in his voice warmed her. She kissed his cheek and took his hand, leading him to the front hall. Boe's valet met them there with an assortment of leather gloves for Loki to chose from.

In the welcome line, he clearly had the charm on full blast, including gracefully deflecting questions from those who thought he was dead or wanted to talk about Asgard.

She really did love him. He was such an asset to their court. He was even better at this than she was.

They were still chatting with the dwarves queen when Raika and her family were announced. Syn felt Loki tense beside her and gave his arm a reassuring rub before ceasing all contact with him so the curse wouldn't effect him.

The dwarves moved on to shake Colm's hand and Syn put on her most charming smile to greet the Jotuns. "Raika," she said when she reached the welcome line. "I was so happy to see you were coming. It's been too long." Loki's discomfort aside, she actually did like the Jotun queen. They had always been decent trade partners, and during the Ash, they'd been important allies.

Raika stepped forward and bowed slightly and took Syn's hand in her gloved one. Even through the leather she was icy cold, much more so than Loki. "Syn," she replied in her rough voice. "We were honored by the invitation. Jotun are not often welcome at joyous events."

"My brother and I both hope that perception changes," Syn told her solemnly, "And I see you brought your boys. Please feel free to let them enjoy the festival, there's games and contests for children I'm sure they'll like.

Raika inclined her head and cast Loki a pointed look.

Well, no use putting it off. "Please let me present my Consort, Loki of Asgard.”

“Your majesty,” he said carefully, bowing his head.

Raika studied him a moment. "Cousin." She gave him the same slight bow she'd given Syn. "Laufey and Odin were old fools from a different age. I would like to rise above their history.”

Loki gave a smile, and it was a real one. “I could not agree more.”

She nodded, then gave Syn a sly look. "With my long-lost cousin on your court, will I be getting a more favorable trade agreement?"

Syn returned the smile. "I'll be happy to discuss mutual family discounts during our next round of negotiations."

Raika gave a bark of laughter and chucked Syn lightly on the arm before moving on to the next greeting.

One of the members of the Royal Guard came over and tapped Colm on the shoulder. He leaned back and had a brief whispered conversation. Syn looked over at Boe, who was in the middle of shaking the hand of a local noble nobody needed to be introduced to, and shrugged. 

Colm then held up a finger to said noble, effectively halting the line, and turned towards Syn and Loki. “I do not know if this is going to be a cause for alarm or not, but the guards on the wall—along with everyone on the festival grounds and probably half the city—have just seen the bifrost.” He looked at Loki. “I believe your brother is here.” 

"Well," Syn said slowly. "He is a realm leader. Though I don't know how he got an invitation."

Boe glanced over. "He can join the line like everyone else.”

“It’s fine,” Loki said. “We made our peace. I promise not to make a scene.”

There was a few moments of tension that everyone pretended not to notice. Then the guard at the door announced, "Her Majesty Queen Valkyrie of Asgard and her companion, the Lady Muir."

Syn grinned, bouncing on her toes to get a better view of Valkyrie, in a gorgeous red gown, and her date, a petite blonde Asgardian in a gold dress.

"Valkyrie," she said, holding her hands out to greet the women. "It's so nice to see you again. And in far better circumstances.”

“I love a good party,” she replied. “It’s good to see you, too.” She looked at Loki. “Are you immortal?”

Loki laughed. “It’s a long story.”

“I notice that’s not a no.”

"You can't expect Loki to give up his secrets," Syn said, pitching her tone with just the right about of teasing. Then she turned her attention to the Lady Muir. "I don't believe we've met. Syn the Truthful, Queen of Alfheim.”

“It is an honor to meet you.”

"Please, stay long enough to enjoy the festival," Syn said as they started to move on. "I think you'll have a good time.”

“And she didn’t even stab me,” Loki said when they were gone.

"Clearly royalty agrees with her."

“Thor told me he left her in charge, I didn’t think he’d actually given her the throne. And, apparently, his axe.”

"Your brother rarely does anything halfway," Syn pointed out. "I don't think he'd have felt he'd really moved on if he didn't do it properly.”

“Everyone needs to find their place in the universe, I suppose.”

She looked up at him, swallowing what she wanted to say. "They do."

The wedding ceremony was held at noon—the exact middle of the longest day of the year. Despite the enormous crowd, as one might expect at a royal wedding, there was a tent and lot of greenery that afforded a sense of privacy. Syn knew there had been a lot of negotiation about that.

Wedding ceremonies were usually private, just the couple and a few close friends and family, if that. But Boe had felt strongly this was a union that should be seen by the public. Colm was not a fan of crowds at the best of times. So the ceremony would be semi-private and the reception a more public affair. 

Syn and Loki had a front row seat to the hand fasting ceremony. She found herself tearing up a bit as they said their vows. Certainly neither Boe nor Colm had entirely dry eyes.

Loki found her hand, and tangled their fingers together. It had been such a long road. She leaned her head on his shoulder, not letting go until Colm had tied the last knot and raised their bound hands for all to see. The gathered crowd broke into cheers.

The party afterwards was enormous, merging with the traditional midsummer festival. Music and dancing, with a huge feast and plenty of drink. There would be bonfires when the sun set.

Syn got Loki to dance with her, which pleased her greatly. They only got one dance in before there was an odd flash of light at the edge of the crowd. A group of strangely dressed people had appeared, and began cutting through the crowd. Syn didn’t recognize them, but she could guess who they were by the way Loki froze.

Deliberately, she put herself between him and them, letting her magic rise to glow gold in her hands. She sent a flare out to get Boe and Colm's attention, then faced the agent that stopped in front of her, perfectly willing to destroy him if he took one more step.

“If they could be defeated with magic, I’d have done it already,” Loki said quietly.

The group—there looked to be several dozen identically dressed people behind the man leading them, approached her. “We are from the Time Variance Authority, and we are here for the arrest of Prince Loki of Asgard.”

Syn huffed a breath through her nose, hands fisting. She could teleport a little. They wouldn't be able to track her immediately. Maybe a less advanced world, somewhere they wouldn't ant to draw attention-

"Does no one understand sarcasm when they hear it?"

Colm and Boe separated from the crowd to stand beside them, and she allowed herself to relax fractionally. They were not alone in this.

"Boe the Just," her brother said conversationally, as if thirty-odd space cops hadn't just crashed his wedding. "King of Alfheim. At your service. And as my husband and General told you two nights ago, Loki is a member of my court and will not be going anywhere.”

“Due to the nature of his crimes, we are unable allow any claims of asylum. He will need to come with us.”

“And yet he’s not going to,” Boe replied, managing to sound almost amused.

Colm whistled, and someone from the unit of the Royal Guard that wielded magic sent up an enormous flare, which burst in the sky above them like a firework. “You’ve got about fifteen minutes to change your mind,” Colm said.

"Breaking our asylum treaty would be considered an act of war," Boe said. "My army is already mustering. You're about to scoff and call us a backwards planet of farmers. To which I will remind you that with Asgard gone, Alfheim has the most powerful army in the realms, as well as powerful allies. None of whom have much patience for overbearing bureaucrats."

Raikia and her husband appeared at Syn's other side, wielding daggers of ice. "Jotunheim would be happy to lend their arms against such an overreach of power."

Boe smiled widely and gestured at her in gratitude before addressing the TVA agent again. "Now you're going to bluster about your own army and superior firepower. And I will point out that your forces, while numerous, are spread across time and space and would need to be recalled here and now, leading to hundereds, if not thousands of disruptions far more egregious than anything my sister's Consort could possibly have done.”

The TVA agent huffed. “He stole infinity stones from different timelines and used them in concert to alter the universe.”

“The _hell_ he did.” That came from off to the left. Syn didn’t take her eyes of the TVA, but that sounded like Valkyrie. Sure enough, she strolled into Syn’s peripheral vision, gigantic axe resting on her shoulder. “I dispute your contention Asgard is entirely gone, by the way. I have an army and I’ll damn well get it here if I need to.” She gestured at the TVA with the axe, and Boe smirked. Syn was pretty sure Valkyrie was drunk, and was just as sure that would not interfere with her efficiently removing that man’s head. “You want to arrest the man who wore the gauntlet and saved half the universe from a madman you chuckleheads did nothing about? I’m happy to take you to his grave. It sure as shit isn’t that one back there.”

“I told you I wasn’t lying!” Loki called, then added a very pained sounding, “About that.”

The agent glared at him. “One of the infinity stones was not returned. We know it’s here.”

“Ten minutes,” Colm said, deadly calm.

"If I'm to understand the unfolding of events," Boe said. "That is the only stone in this time line. The others were destroyed by the madman her highness referenced. If you remove it, you will put this timeline in extreme danger. However, I am not completely unwilling to negotiate. Loki? Would you perchance be willing to return the time device you borrowed?”

Loki sighed heavily. “The Tesseract is not from this timeline, it’s from a different one. That. . .it probably should go back to.” He squeezed Syn’s shoulder, then stepped around her to face the TVA. “I only took it out of that timeline because you locked me up and accused me of something I didn’t do. For the safety of a timeline where my mother is still alive, I will give you the Tesseract to return. The time device, I’m keeping.”

“You cannot be trusted with it.”

Loki moved his head from side to side. “You know what? I agree.” He moved his hand and in a shimmer of green light, the small thing appeared. The TVA agent reached for it, and Loki pulled back. He turned instead and tossed it to Boe. “You crashed this man’s wedding. If you would like the Tesseract back, you’re going to let him go say goodbye to his mother.”

Boe grinned widely and tucked the device away in his coat. "Do we have an accord?" he asked the TVA politely. 

"Four minutes," Colm added.

Loki held out his palm, and the Tesseract materialized in it.

The agent who had done all the talking was quiet a moment. Syn watched his gaze move from Loki to her to Boe and Colm and the collection of guards and realm leaders flanking them. Pompous and arrogant he might be, but Syn didn't think he was stupid.

Sure enough, he reached over and and took the tesseract. "Your claim of asylum is granted. Be advised if you set foot off this planet your ass is mine." He looked over at Boe. "You'll let me know if that time device is found."

He managed not to sound smug, but Syn was sure it was a close thing. "Oh, just the second it turns up.”

There was a flash of light, and then all of the TVA agents were gone.

Syn gave a little sound, it was almost a sob, then lurched forward to wrap her arms around Loki. He rocked her, and she could hear a shudder in his sigh. “It’s all right.”

She was shaking, with fear and relief and the sudden rush of a threat gone and a fight thwarted. She was aware of Boe coming up alongside them and released Loki long enough to grip his arm. "Thank you."

He smiled and leaned over to rest his forehead on hers. "It's over," he said quietly, the same words she'd said to him when the Steward had conceded. She smiled, feeling tears prick her eyes, and nodded.

Boe kissed her cheek, rubbed Loki's shoulder and turned to the crowd. "What are we standing around for? This is a party.”

The sound of chanting beyond the castle walls reached them, and Colm laughed and muttered, “Oh, shit.” He turned a little. “Caragh?”

“Right,” the man called back and the flares went up, this time a joyful rainbow of colors.

Loki tugged her hand. “Come dance with me, my love.”

Laughing through her tears, she followed him out to the dance floor.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quarantine Day #75-ish. Olives here. Fans of our Tales from the Tower series may find this particularly funny. . . there is now a Ball Pit in the middle of my living room.

It was a hell of a party. They lit bonfires as the sun set, and the families with young children started to head home so the proper drinking and ribaldry could begin. The Jotuns has apparently brought a few barrels of wine, which was potent enough to make even Loki feel warm and languid.

He sat with Boe, watching Syn and Colm dance a fast moving country dace with a group of few drunk friends from Lakefire. After almost twelve hours of merrymaking, her hair had come out of its style and she'd lost her shawl and gained a lopsided flower crown. She looked very young and very happy, reeling around with her old friends. Loki wondered if he was seeing a glimpse of the woman she'd been, before the Ash and the revolution.

"I remember the first night I spent with Colm," Boe said thoughtfully. "I woke before he did, looked over at him and thought, 'Ah, this is what happiness feels like.'" He gestured at Syn. "I have always been more closed off than her. Even as children, she would give her whole self over to everyone, over and over and over again. There must be a thousand things she would die for. I can think of two." He glanced at Loki. "Maybe three, now. I would have gone to war, to keep them from taking you. Not just because I like you—which I do—but because I would burn the realms to ash to make her smile."

Loki had the distinct impression this was Boe's version of the requisite brotherly "break her heart, I'll break your face" conversation. And he nodded, because he understood. “I don’t think either of us would have survived those five years as well as they did.” 

"No, I don't think we would have." He looked back to the crowd, where the dance seemed to be coming to an end. "I think we'll be a good team, the four of us. Ruling Alheim. Starting a new chapter in the realms." He gave his version of Syn's crooked, quirked smile. "Certainly you've cemented our relationship with the Jotuns better than I ever could.”

He shook his head. “If all the strange turns my life has taken. . .”

"Raika's quite a lot of fun once you get to know her." Syn and Colm were making their way towards them and Boe started to stand, squeezing Loki's arm as he did so. "Thank you. For the device. I look forward to seeing my mother again.”

“It’s well worth the trip,” Loki replied. 

He nodded and the other two reached them. Syn dropped into Loki's lap, pressing her flushed cheek against his shoulder.

Boe wrapped his arms around Colm. "Come to take me to bed, husband?"

The other man chuckled a little, swaying with the king. "I'm told we have to consummate before the sun rises or the marriage is forfeit."

"Let's be on with it, then.”

Loki waved a little as they went off, then he kissed he top of Syn’s head. “Hello, dear heart.”

"Mmm, hello, my darling." She pressed a little kiss to his throat, on a spot that made him shiver. "I think this is the best Midsummer ever.”

Loki chuckled. “It is my first, but it was quite eventful.”

"It was. My brother got married, we almost went to war, and I tried Jotun wine for the first time." She lifted her head, smiling brilliantly at him. "And now you're safe and mine and I don't have to worry about you being take away.”

She was the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and he still had no idea how he’d gotten this lucky. “I am literally stuck on Alfhiem now. If you grow tired of me, I’ll have to go live in the country side.” He paused. “Or the dungeon, depending on how mad you are.”

"You can have your very own reserved cell for when we quarrel." Stroking her knuckles along his cheek, her expression slowly sobered. "I love you, you know," she said softly. "It's different to how I loved you the first time. I'm different. I love that you fit this new, harder, frightened version of me.”

“This is the only you I know,” he replied. “But it seems I have loved you across many, many different lives. This one included,”

Cupping his face, she leaned in and kissed him tenderly. "Take me home, Loki," she murmured.

He could get up, but why bother? Instead he moved his hand, and his magic deposited them right in their bedroom. She giggled ,swaying into him as they kissed again. He wondered if perhaps she'd had a little too much Jotun wine. But he imagined some of it was relief. Whatever the future held for them, it didn't involve him being whisked away to a prison cell by the TVA.

“This is a very fancy dress,” he murmured.

"It is," she agreed. "But I will likely never wear it again. If you had ideas about destroying it.”

Loki laughed. “My word, you _are_ drunk.”

She pinched her fingers together. "A little." Bringing her hands back to him, she started unlacing the ties of his shirt. "Mostly I am happy and relaxed and safe, for the first time in what feels like a very long time.”

“The thing about ripping your dress,” he said, watching her hands, “is that I’m terrified of Hilde.”

"You are a very wise man," she told him solemnly, parting his shirt and sliding her hands under the cloth to push it down his arms. "I will tell you, though, she gave me explicit permission to ruin this dress however I pleased. She knew it would be a long day and I couldn't spend it worrying about grass stains.”

“And would it please you if I ruined it for you now?”

"It would." She ran her hands up his arms, touch light, before sliding them down his chest. "Though I think it will please you a bit, too.”

He called one of his daggers, and it materialized in his hand. “That doesn’t scare you?”

She gave the blade the barest of glances before meeting his eyes again. "I love all parts of you, even the dangerous ones." Her fingers danced along the waistband of his trousers. "Trust is important to you. I trust you.”

He swallowed and nodded. “All right.” He glanced down at her hands and smiled. “Don’t distract me.” He brought the dagger up to her bodice, and it proved sharp enough to slice silk. “I’d hate to mar your perfect skin.”

Her throat worked and he could hear her breath quicken. A glance at her face found her eyes dark with arousal, not fear. "I'll behave," she told him, voice thick.

Carefully, slowly, he cut the fabric, down to the waist. Undoing it’s fastenings probably would have been faster, but he didn’t care. By the time he was done, Syn was breathing hard, fingers curled into his waistband. She had not moved an inch, despite how obviously aroused she was. He wondered if that was part of the fun for her.

He stopped with the flat of the blade pressed against her stomach. A flick of his wrist would cut through the waist of her skirt, probably divesting her of the garment entirely. But he paused and waited. Until she growled his name and pressed closer, into the cool metal, and claimed his mouth in a hot kiss. He cut the skirt and tossed the dagger, so he could put both his arms around her. Lifting her out of the remnants of her dress, he turned and brought them both down to the bed. She dug her fingers into his hair, clearly unwilling to let him go.

Her magic curled and wove around him, warm and familiar, touching places she couldn't reach. He used his like extra hands, stroking her, but hers wasn't so explicit. Perhaps it was the healer in her, but it felt more like something internal, lighting up nerve endings, sending pleasure through him. He arched in response and felt her smile against his mouth.

He was becoming uncomfortably aware that he was still wearing half his clothing, and he vanished them. Now he could feel all of her skin against his. He lifted his head and said, somewhat sternly, “Stay.” Then he kissed his way down her body.

She attempted a teasing, "Yes, dear," but it was lost in a gasp when he sucked her nipple into his mouth. He stroked her other breast with his hand, nipple peaking beneath the pad of his thumb. Her hands tangled in his hair, stroking and tugging as he wound her up.

It would be easy to do all of this with magic. And he had, on occasion, as part of some game they were playing. But it was still better like this, all of his senses saturated with her. He still wanted to inhale her scent, to feel her, to taste her.

Speaking of taste. . . he began to make his way down her body again, and heard her quiet sigh followed by a whimper of anticipation as he parted her legs. Deliberately, he spread her wide, cupping her thighs in his hands as he bent his head to her sex. The first flick of his tongue found her wet and swollen with arousal.

She whimpered again, hips lifting and he shifted his grip. She seemed to enjoy a little danger with her pleasure, so he let her feel his strength as he held her down, barking out another, "Stay," before bringing his mouth to her again. He felt her legs tremble, but she obeyed him, staying still even as he teased her. He slid his magic up over her skin, just a little pressure, and took his time.

He knew her well, though clearly there was always more to learn. Still, he could tell when she was getting close by the was she breathed and tasted. He slipped two fingers into her, pleased at the way her body clenched around them. He stroked her, fucking her slowly, as he brought the full force of his attention to her clit. 

"Loki, _Loki_ -" She broke off with a desperate cry and he held her still with his magic, pinning her to the bed as she clenched and pulsed around his fingers and against his lips.

He waited for her to finally open her eyes again. “Yes, dear heart?” He murmured.

She smiled, looking languid and happy and indulgent. "I love you," she told him. "Please come here and fuck me properly.”

He crawled up her, catching her in his arms and pulling her on top of him. “Hey now, I’m not doing _all_ the work.”

"If you insist." She sat up, skin golden in the lamplight, and lifted up onto her knees. The slick heat of her brushed the head of his cock as she lined herself up properly. Then she was sinking down, taking him inside her. Her eyes closed, head tipped back a moment as they both reveled in the sensation. She was slick and tight from her climax, fine muscles still pulsing around him.

After a moment, she opened her eyes and met her gaze, leaning forward so her hair curtained him. "Mine," she murmured, weaving their fingers together and pinning his hands on either side of his head as she started to move in long, smooth strokes. "All mine.”

He tightened his fingers on hers. “Always.”

Her magic swirled around them, flecks of gold dancing along his skin. His own power rose in response and he let it go with no direction, just flooding her. Whatever she felt, it made her gasp and thrust harder onto him.

He lost himself in it, as she seemed to, power and pleasure bouncing between them as they pushed each other higher. He lifted his hips up to her, trying to press deeper. She murmured things to him, pleas and praise and nonsense as she grew hotter and tighter around him.

Her fingers tightened on him, almost painful, even for him. Then she took him to the hilt and shuddered. Her magic flooded him, lighting up every nerve in its path, and he felt her start to clench around him, rocking against him with the waves of pleasure. It was so far beyond what he could take, he could barely move as it rushed through him, in what seemed like perfect sync. He may have called her name or it might have been nonsense. He could no longer tell.

Sometime later, he came back to himself and found her sprawled on his chest. Their hands were still interwoven, but her fingers were lax enough he could disentangle himself and wrap his arms around her. She gave a little mumble of approval and turned her face into the curve of his neck, sighing happily.

For a while they just drifted, not asleep and not entirely awake, neither of them wanting to move. Eventually he murmured, “Something I was wondering.”

"Hmm?" she replied, then added, "Ask me," as if afraid the noise had been too ambiguous.

“Are all royal weddings at Midsummer?”

"It's not required. It's a traditional day to get married, so some will wait for it, but people marry all year long.”

He nuzzled her hair. “I don’t want to wait a year.”

She sucked in a breath as his meaning struck her. "I was thinking," she said hesitantly, "That mid-winter might be appropriate?”

“Seems a fair compromise,” he said quietly. “I have a certain fondness for ice.”

"I noticed." Her hands moved over his skin and he wondered if she was enjoying the chill. "Was that you asking me to marry you?”

“Would you?”

She broke into that lovely smile, that seemed to make her glow. "I would love to.”

*

Getting a royal wedding to happen in six months was no small feat, but Loki was adamant about midwinter. It was unseasonably warm, which she feared would turn the festival grounds into mud and possibly force them inside if it rained.

On the morning of the wedding, it was still warm, but it was inexplicably snowing gently outside Syn’s window. 

Loki had spent the night in the other room; there was some sort of Asgardian tradition about the bride and groom not seeing each other before the wedding that he'd felt like indulging. She strongly suspected, that somehow, this was his doing.

Hilde bustled in with a few maids, carrying her breakfast on a tray and a pile of fabric and hair accessories. “Did you know the festival grounds have acquired and ice-skating rink?”

Syn smiled, sitting to eat her breakfast while two maids got to work on her hair. "My husband-to-be has been busy.”

Hilde smiled back. Loki seemed to be growing on her. “It does look very nice.”

"He's fond of the cold." And in a true display of how much she loved him, they would be honeymooning in the hills outride Lakefire, which her parents assured them had a healthy dusting. They’d have loved to take another trip off planet, but didn’t dare risk it.

There was a knock on the door, and Boe called, “Are you decent?”

"I'm in my robe," she replied, smearing honey on a piece of corn cake. "It's nothing you haven't seen.”

He stepped inside. “I have been instructed to ask you if you would or would not like snow during the ceremony.”

She'd had a cloak made to go with her dress, on the odd chance it was snowing naturally. And she knew how much the snow and cold called to him. So she sipped her tea and said, "I think a light snow would be very romantic.”

“His brother helped with the snowstorm. Who is, by the way, absolutely nothing like I imagined him to be. You should see the weird people he brought with him. Including a sentient tree that can lie to me.”

She grinned and tried to bounce, to the dismay of her hairdressers. "Oh the crew came! I'm so glad, I wasn't sure if they'd make it. Yes, Groot is apparently immune to the curse, Loki and I could not figure out why, but it was entertaining.”

“I didn’t know you’d made such interesting friends on your galavanting.”

"And I didn't even invite anyone from the moon where I'm considered a saint.”

“Well, I’d have loved to have them here so I could disabuse them of _that_ notion.” Sometimes, he was entirely her brother.

"Maybe for your birthday." She popped the last bite of her corn cake in her mouth. "In any case, the snow will certainly make our Jotun guests happy." In a gesture of goodwill, they had invited the whole Jotun royal family to the wedding, not just Raika. Someone had actually managed to track down Loki's maternal grandmother, an old, bent-backed Jotun who pretended to be half-deaf. They'd come the day before, so the could greet them privately in case someone turned Loki blue.

Grandmother Muru had squinted at Loki, called him too-thin, the spitting image of his mother and promptly hugged him, turning about sixty percent of him blue. She had then proclaimed Syn to have good birthing hips and tried to hug her before being reminded it would burn her. Loki had been rather flummoxed at the attention, but had allowed the woman to brace herself on his arm as they showed her the palace ground, despite the blue arm he'd sported the rest of the evening.

“The Jotuns helped them make that frozen lake thing. I got Colm to agree to ice skate.” He looked very proud of himself. “The families are getting along. Though I think Da has roped Thor and one of his muscle-y crew members into coming back to Lakefire and helping build a barn.”

"That was probably inevitable. As long as they don't crash my honeymoon, I have no problem with them getting along.”

Hilde had her dress on a dress form, and went over to take it off. Boe looked down at her and said quietly, “You know, I think we’re living the lives we expected as children.”

She smiled and glanced at her hairdressers to get permission to stand. They placed a few more charms and combs then stepped back. She stood and wrapped her brother in a hug. "We are," she said. “Finally."

It was snowing gently when the ceremony began that afternoon. Loki was wearing his ridiculous gold helmet. As was his brother, and quite a number of people in the audience. When Valkyrie had come from Midgard, she’d apparently brought a bunch of Asgardians with her. Loki was clearly touched, but would probably never admit it.

She and Hilde had walked him through the ceremony so he knew the vows and how to tie the cords around their wrists. He'd proclaimed Asgardian wedding ceremonies lengthy public affairs that no one enjoyed and other than sequestering themselves before—and, apparently, the helmets—they’d chosen not to use any traditions.

If she'd married at midsummer, she'd have worn a flower crown. Finding flowers at this time of year that were sturdy enough to withstand crown making was an expensive, wasteful task. So instead she'd had her hairdressers weave dozens of little silver charms into her hair, leaving it loose and unbound, so it looked as if she had a galaxy of stars caught in the strands. She imagined it would be all the rage in the Capital in the coming months.

They said their vows and tied their hands together in a complicated knot that was meant to never unravel. When they were done, they lifted their bound hands and the crowd cheered. Then Loki kissed her and it was like the were alone in the world. 

“Now you’re really stuck with me,” he murmured as they parted.

"And I have never been more happy.”

“I believe we have a party to get to,” he said.

Normally, mid winter was not a time for large festivals. When Syn had originally suggested it, she'd imagined they'd have something small, with just family, friends, and political allies. But Hilde, Loki, and Boe had all insisted their wedding needed to be just as large and celebratory as Boe and Colm's. So they were hosting the first ever mid-winter festival, complete with games, ice sculpture contests, vendors with hot chocolate and spiced wine, and, apparently, ice skating.

Syn hadn't been ice skating since she was a child, and hadn't been very good at it then. Loki coaxed her out on the ice and had to bodily hold her upright for most of it.

He still had his helmet on, insisting it kept his head warm. “I don’t think I told you,” he said as they spun carefully on the ice. “But one was made for you. It’s somewhere among the gifts.”

She laughed. "I have my very own ridiculous Asgardian helmet?”

“It’s tradition, when marrying into an important family.” He grinned at her. “Honestly, no one asked me. Valkyrie had it made.”

"Truly, my life is now complete." She risked letting go of his hand to reach up and give one of his horns a tug. "I'd go put it on now, but it would muss my hair.”

“It looks like one of those flower crowns everyone had on at Boe’s wedding.”

That was actually a very sweet gift. "I am definitely wearing that later.”

“I told her we visited a timeline where she married my brother and she choked on her drink.”

Syn had to focus a moment, her right foot was threatening to go out from under her. "I worry about your brother, I hope he isn't lonely.”

“He seems to be more at ease than at any point in our growing up. And he has his people, bizarre as they all are. Did you know one of them is also from a different timeline?”

"Gamora, yes. We spoke for a while at dinner when they arrived. She's adjusting well. I was telling her about our timeline hops and the . . . patterns we noticed from one to another.”

“Patterns?”

"Oh, you know. You and I being together. Alfheim prospering if I was ruling. Boe dying." She looked up at him. "Surely you noticed some things seemed to be more common that others.”

“We talked about that when we were out drinking. You seem to be a force for good across many timelines.”

She actually felt herself blushing, and hid it by watching their feet again. To her relief, Loki let her hide, taking the moment of concentration to spin them again. Finally, she looked up at him. "I know that there are likely better timelines out there. But I'm very happy with this one.”

He kissed her. “This feels like a very good timeline to me.”

The party wound down earlier than mid-summer usually did, and by suppertime they were in their honeymoon cabin with a fire blazing and snow drifting down outside. It was very much like the mountain cabin they'd stayed in before coming back to Alfheim, only this time he managed to coax her into making love outside on the porch while the snow fell. He was very much in his element in the cold. When he came, he managed to freeze part of the lake.

Later, after he'd successfully warmed her back up, they lay tangled together in bed, quietly drifting, when she had the courage to ask, "Do you want children?”

He looked over at her. “The ones we met in that one timeline were adorable.”

"They were," she agreed. "But that was not an answer.”

He sighed. “It’s. . .my understanding was, seeing that they are biologically possible, they will at some point happen.”

She played with the ends of his hair. He hadn't cut it, much to her delight. "I know Asgardian women go through their time, which sounds delightful, but Alfan women work a little differently. I could prevent them, if we want time to think about it, or enjoy being together alone.”

“No, no, I get how it works. Your Ma explained it to me. In excruciating detail.” He cleared his throat. “I also get the distinct impression the next person who asks your brother-in-law about heirs is going to get stabbed.”

She covered her mouth with a hand. "Oh, spirits, I'm so sorry.”

Loki laughed. “She meant well.”

"She usually does. And I do sympathize with Colm. They're going to have that hanging over their head until they find some sort of answer to the heir problem.”

“Or you and I have one.”

"That is the simplest answer to the problem," she conceded.

“Do you want them?”

She paused a moment, playing with his hair again. "I do," she admitted finally. "Very much.”

“I am terrified,” he said. “But willing.”

"I think that's fairly standard for new parents," she said gently. "Whatever comes, we'll do it together.”

He leaned down to kiss her. “Then we’ll be all right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap! Hope you enjoyed this story. We've got some new things in the Legacy series posting later today.


End file.
